Very Inspirational Blogger Award – The 411

very-inspirational-blogger-award

Spiritbabycomehome nominated the Plan-B-Chronicles Blog for the VERY INSPIRATIONAL BLOG AWARD !!  How awesome is that?  I am so humbled and honored. 

In accepting this recognition, I must do the following 5 things, which shall be done in this post (as I would not want to keep you waiting):

1.  Thank and link the amazing person who nominated you. 

  • Done (above)

2.  List the rules and display the award.

  • You’re soaking in it!

3.  Share seven facts about yourself. 

  • I studied pre-law at Howard University.
  •  I sang in a gospel choir called YAFE under the direction of Grammy Award Winning Gospel Mistro, Richard Smallwood for 10 years.
  • I am a published author.
  •  I am a film producer, actress, model, screenwriter, and vocalist.
  • I am a voice-over actor and my voice is the intro on City World Radio
  •  I have a niece who looks like she could be my twin.
  • I want to move to Vancouver or Europe eventually .

4.  Nominate 15 other amazing blogs and comment on their posts to let them know they have been nominated.

5.  Proudly display the award logo on your blog and follow the blogger who nominated you. (Optional)

  • Done (above).
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Zero Zero Zero !! – The 411

baby - zero

I went in for beta testing this a.m and the nurse called me at 11:30 am to inform me that my beta is now  ZERO !!  I was fully expecting it to be five since it has been dropping only by one every week for the past three weeks.   Well, color me surprised when the nurse said ZERO !!

Never been so happy over the prospect of the onset of menses before in my life !  Really?  Only an IVF patient would be praising God for a period about to start LOL.

Now, I shall wait for AF to show her ugly face.  I am just hoping she doesn’t show up and cause scheduling conflicts with my upcoming film premiere on the 16th.  It would be my luck that I would have to go to Albany the week of my premiere for ER and then have to come to DC for the premiere and then trek back 7 hours to Albany for ET.  It is my prayer that my cycle holds off a week or two and then I can stim thru the premiere, trigger then leave for Albany. I also have a wedding to attend on the 23rd in Niagara Falls so, that would be perfect if I can be done prior to all of this…

 

 

Beta Is SEVEN – The 411

baby - seven eh

I am so freaking pissed I could cuss !  My beta this week? SEVEN !  Last week?  EIGHT !!  Week before that?  NINE !!  Ugh Ugh Ugh !!!

Why me Lord?  Why me???   I thought that by doing a D&C, things would return to normal after a month or so.  This is week SEVEN and my beta is SEVEN !  Okay, seven is my favorite number… means completion but I do not sense that right now.  I am angry.  I am pissed off.  I am mad as hell !   I want a ZERO beta so that I can move on with my life. 

No, I get a seven, off and on bleeding, dark brown gross spotting, and the wearing of thin pads, which I deplore !

I called my doctor’s office and asked the nurse if anything could be done to speed this up and of course, the answer is NO !  There is nothing they can prescribe to make this beta go down. I am so over this I do not know what to to !!

 

 

Beta Is STILL Not Zero – The 411

 

baby - angry

To say that I am angry, pissed, mad, upset, beside myself-  that is pretty accurate at this point !

On Tuesday, I had an appointment with my Internist, Dr. Witt, and had him to run a complete HLA panel and several other blood tests to detect autoimmune issues.  We are running the panel of tests that Dr. Braverman runs.  It is just as an additional precaution. It was very alarming and hurtful to receive results from PGD that reveal that your fetus was genetically and pathologically normal.  It leaves more questions than answers, considering I was on an autoimmune protocol with my cycle.

My beta was also tested and it is EIGHT !  UGH UGH UGH !!  I am approaching week 7 here and I am ready to get this show on the road !  I am experiencing bleeding and clots off and on.  I wish my period would just come on already.  My menses are normally only 2 days or so.  Not this off and on crap.  That is the one reason I always wanted a c-section, to avoid vaginal discharge, then I found out that even with a c-section, the uterus is STILL going to discharge and expel all that goook… SURROGATE ANYONE?  lol.   Okay… I am back.  I am ready willing and able to do this…. hopefully only ONE time !  I want twins and DONE !

I am so disappointed that my beta is not zero.  It is driving me nuts !  I have been all over Dr. Google looking for ways to lower the beta, and the only thing you can do is eat liver healthy foods and drink a ton of water.  I am sooooo irritated !  I digress….Will keep you updated as I go.

And The Cramping Begins- The 411

baby- menstrual cramps

Thursday afternoon, I started experience CRAMPS !  Like the ones that hurt so bad it feels like little monsters are inside TWISTING THE CRAP out of your ovaries !  Yep… those !  I had a little light spotting and this continued until Friday night.  This morning, MY BIRTHDAY, of all days, nothing !

I called CNY Fertility Center and Spa and spoke with my nurse to inquire about this extremely light spotting and I was concerned about doing a baseline since it stopped.  Low and behold, that was NOT my period.  UGH !  I learned that my beta is dropping to levels where my body realizes that it is not pregnant so my period, a full flow, is looming.

On one hand I was relieved because now I have a little breather to get the rest of my meds and a little time to wrap my head around going through this next IVF cycle.  The first one was a breeze.  I was a ball of emotions, but it was easy after I go the hang of the injections.  Women have warned that every cycle is different. 

I am kinda excited about this cycle because it means I could actually get pregnant with the twins I so desperately want, and on the other hand, it could mean a BFN or another loss.  All I can do is try to stay positive and know that God is in control and I have to trust Him no matter what.  I have to believe that this will happen in Kyros, not Cronos. 

Patiently waiting for my menses, which, if those deadly cramps were any indication, are going to be HELL ! 

 

 

Genetic Results & Beta Is STILL Not Zero !! – The 411

baby - beta hcg

Okay, now I am trying not to be too pissed off.  This entire process is so difficult and taxing on one’s nerves.  It is like trying to get to finish line… you can see it, but you still have a few yards to go to cross it !

I had blood drawn yesterday for beta hcg.  My beta was 29 last week and this week…. 19 !  UGH UGH UGH !  Why is it not ZERO?  Next week it will probably be just 9…. I am ready for it to drop to 0 so I can get started on my next cycle before it interferes with my plans for my premiere.  God forbid it doesn’t drop in the next 2 wks.  My film premiere is on August 16th and I can not be in DC and in Albany at the same time and I am not trying to do the commute back and forth in the middle of this premiere !   I guess the term “it is what it is” is applicable here…

In other news, I FINALLY got my genetic test results back on the baby I lost.  Just as I suspected, it was a GIRL !! Oddly enough, she was perfectly fine.

– No genetic abnormalities

– No trisomys

– No downs syndrome

– No translocations

– NO NOTHING !

I spoke with Dr. Grossman this morning to get his take and he says that it could be genetic and just below the level of detection for the testing they are able to perform.  It could also possibly be autoimmune and that testing and treatment for autoimmune issues has not been shown to make a difference in the outcome.  What can be done is giving low dose blood thinners, anti-inflammatory steroids to suppress the immune system, and low dose asprin, all of which I was already on this past cycle- and hope the outcome is different with the next cycle. I did ask him if neupogen wash and or injections being added to the protocol would help.

It is so disappointing and such a helpless feeling to not have answers and then having to just GUESS at a protocol and HOPE for the best.  I do not think I can do more praying that I did and have been doing thru out this whole ordeal.

This is truly in the hands of God !