Today, I spent most of the day laying around in bed until I finally got up around 12:30 pm and headed to Target to pick up my prescriptions.
I am still feeling queasy but nowhere near as bad as I did the first two days. This morning, after breakfast, I took both of the doxycycline at the same time so I could just get it over with.
Upon waking this morning, my mom came to me to show me some posts Cristal, using one of aliases, had posted on my films Facebook page. She liked the page then proceeded to post lies about my family, me and my ex. I blocked the username and then banned her from the page. I then spent the next 30 minutes going to each of the pages I admin and blocked anyone from ever being able to post on it. After seven months, you would think this demon would have gone away and found a new target. I am beyond the point of wanting to meet her down a dark alley and beating the brakes off of her, but what would that solve? She is mentally insane. I will be visiting NYPD and the FBI offices again while I am back home in NYC next week. Enough is enough.
After 22 days of stimming and 10 more to go, I am worn out with sticking myself and swallowing pills !
Since I am feeling a little better, I got up and decided to bake buttermilk banana nut bread with all the bananas my film crew had to have and never ate. I have three large loaves in the oven now. I will ship them to my brother in law and friends.
Tomorrow, I plan to make homemade grape candied apples. A friend has been experimenting with various flavored candy apples and they look amazing. I bought all the stuff last week at Hobby Lobby, so I will make some tomorrow and ship them to my nieces and nephews.
Tomorrow, I have decided to forego injecting the Delestrogen and will switch to doing the 3 Estrace vaginally. I am praying my lining cooperates, thickens, but doesn’t thicken over 16mm. I am ready to get this show on the road !
My cryobank delivery will arrive at the clinic on Friday !! Yay !! Things are moving forward and expenses are again racking up. It was sooooo nice the past six months to keep all my money to myself and not have to spend most of it on meds and ivf related stuff. In the end, I pray it’s worth it and not over $100,000 blown on a dream. 2016 is the year my dream WILL come true !
Today is my 21st day on stims. This morning, I added doxycycline to my ever growing list of medications and I have been feeling terrible and in bed all day.
Currently, I am injecting lupron, neupogen, lovenox, and delestrogen.
I am taking the maximum dose of LDN (4.5mg), 1500mg Metformin, 150 mg synthroid, prenatal plus, baby asprin, Optimized folate, biotin and epa/dha.
It seems that all day I am either swallowing pills or sticking myself in the tummy or tush ! It will only become more fun when I have to also inject progesterone, insert estrace and endometrin up the hooha and also cleocin ! Lol
The things we endure to try to have a child !
If only I could just skip the low dull headache and nausea, I would be okay.
Over the next two days, I have to pull all my meds together and pack for my 2 week trip to DC and hopefully Syracuse.
I ordered two custom infinity scarves from Janelle of New York and they are oversized so I am ready for the cold ! I am still rocking summer and fall clothes. I am glad that I brought a few coats and sweaters so when I am traveling I will be warm.
Today was my second delestrogen injection. My next is due on Wednesday, but I am going to do the estrace three times a day starting Wednesday so that my E2 doesn’t rise too much and I end up with another blood clot.
I am off to bed to watch TV until I fall asleep. I have one more med to take at 9pm and then it’s a wrap for today. I feel awful, but grateful for this opportunity to make a life (or 2).
Merry Christmas Everyone !
Today is stim day 12 of Lupron for my sixth IVF cycle. Above is the first picture of my baby girl, Harper Jean, who would have been born a year ago today. Today, I honor her memory and miss her so much. How I wish she would have made it. She is my angel baby. I do not think I will feel complete on a Christmas morning until I am holding a child in my arms….
Today started with my Lovenox injection, followed by a nice quiet breakfast with my entire family, except my brother in law who is in Iraq working. We then started opening gifts. My mom was blown away by her gifts: Burberry bag, Tiffany & Co. Holiday Mug, Ancestry.com DNa kit, UGG Australia shoes, Heated Blanket. My mom gave everyone Amazon.com giftcards. I gave my nieces and nephews giftcards to their favorite food places or stores, my sisters: one three designer sweaters, the other a velour leisure suit and a hooded top, my brother in law in Iraq: a Gucci wallet, my other brother in law: giftcard to his favorite store, my cousin: Visa giftcard, and my videographer: Amazon.com giftcard. I only purchased Christmas gifts for my Godmother and my best friend. Typically, I only buy gifts for friends who either buy me gifts or if they are having a party/event. I have too many friends, so I normally just bake something delicious and ship it to everyone else when I have time. I have to go out this weekend and get a giftcard for my doorman. I have a friend in the Bay Area who is having a birthday party again this year, so I got her a Tiffany & Co. Holiday mug. Every year, I normally just get her a new mug or wine glasses from Tiffany & Co. Who doesn’t like receiving a little blue box?
I went to Union Station this morning at 11 am and picked up Mark (videographer) and my cousin Chris, who lives in DC. Mark is going with my mom and I to the beach for a week and we will be filming segments for my reality show.
We are all chilling today at my sister’s house in Northern VA and may go out tonight to see Concussion at the theater. We leave at 3 am so I hope I have enough energy lol.
My brother in law grilled chicken wings, ribs, chopped chicken bbq, and my sister cooked a roast and a ham. We are also having mac n cheese, slow cooker collards, string beans, string bean casserole, sweet potato souffle, potato salad, peach cobbler and a whole bunch of other stuff my sister has whipped up. I cooked Thanksgiving Dinner and hosted at my condo at the beach and everyone came in, so I am chilling for Christmas AND Easter ! My other sister will be hosting Easter in North Carolina this year, unless we decide to take the family annual trip to Orlando at that time. Then she will have to cook there lol. I am retired until Thanksgiving ! I will definitely have my meal catered if I am blessed with my babies, because I will not feel up to cooking a spread after a c-section !
Tonight, I will be doing my Lupron injection and taking the LDN at 9pm. That is it for me…
I hope everyone is having a fantastic Christmas and I hope we all have babies en route in 2016 !!
Today is the 11th day of stims. Nothing new to report. I am still injecting Lovenox and Lupron and taking a boatload of meds and supplements. I have been doing my Lovenox injections in the morning prior to my bath and the Lupron at 6pm daily. I will continue on these same meds until after my baseline appointment. I made one appointment for Monday and another for Wednesday. The hospital called to get my insurance information so that they could call for preauthorization.
I am hoping that my lining is looking good and thin so that I can start the estrogen. Right now, if I can only do the appt on the 31st, then I start the estrogen on the 4th, go for baseline on the 14th and my transfer will be on the 18th or 20th.
Merry Christmas to everyone and I pray that Santa brings you everything you dream of ~
Today is my forth day of stims and after getting the results back from the blood work my Internist, Dr. Witt ran, there are some additions to my protocol.
My TSH is currently 2.73 and my Internist is concerned about the possibility of the TSH dramatically increasing, as it always does as a result of the stim meds. I am currently on 150mg and he is has decided to increase my dosage to 175 mg to have the TSH drop a little. He wants to take it down in the 1 range. He called in a new script for the 175 mg.
Another test result was also still in the abnormal range which was my Hemoglobin Ac1. It is still a 6 (borderline diabetic) as a result of the Prednisone. After testing three months, the test is still the same. For that reason, my doctors want to put me on Metformin. I will start off taking 500mg at night (to avoid some of the gastroentestinal issues the med causes) and may have to titrate up.
Tonight, I will do my Lupron injection. I have started Lovenox injections as well. By the time I leave for my transfer, I am sure I will be black and blue !
This morning, I got up and made mile high buttermilk biscuits for my mom along with grits and scrambled eggs. We took a short walk on the beach. BAD decision ! Although the ice cold water felt awesome on my heel, my tendons are throbbing now. I have my foot wrapped in ace bandage and elevated.
I ordered an exercise dvd since I can not go the gym nor run. I intend to stay off my feet for the next two weeks. I will be leaving for my sister’s house on Tuesday. We will be in the DC area until Saturday and then my film crew is meeting me there. I am looking forward to spending the holiday with the entire family. My nephew is coming home on Tuesday and my other sister and the kids are coming as well.
Okay, my nerves are SHOT ! I am sitting here putting all my meds together that I have to start on Monday ! The only med I am awaiting is the compounded Naltrexone, which will be ready for pick up on Tuesday afternoon. Long story short, my clinic called the script into Apothecary by Design, and as usual, they are not licensed to ship meds to my State ! UGH. They are expensive anyway. I called Target where I normally pick up my other meds and asked for a referral to a reputable compounding pharmacy which was local and they gave me the name of one. I called to verify that they could compound 1.5 mg Naltrexone and it was half the price of what Apothecary charges ! I contacted the nurse and let her know about the situation and gave her the info on the local pharmacy and she called the script in.
Monday night, I start injecting Lupron. I do not look forward to the headaches, mood swings and sore joints and bones, but I ready to be pregnant already, so I will do what I must. In addition to the injections, I am already taking various supplements and meds. My protocol is: Prenatal Plus, (3) Tums twice a day, baby asprin, Optimized Folate, EPA/DHA (to reduce NKAs) , Biotin, and Synthroid. I am also taking Naproxen for my achiles tendonitis. Tuesday night, I start taking the low dose Naltrexone 1.5mg the first week, 3.0mg on week two and the third week, if I can tolerate it, increase to 4.5 mg.
After baseline, I start taking Estrace three times a day for 12-14 days. The other meds in my protocol are progesterone, HCG wash, Lovenox, Endometrin, Doxycycline, Cleocin vaginal suppositories, and Neupogen. I am not sure when they will have me take those yet.
It is ridiculous the amount of meds we must take to attempt to get pregnant and crack heads get breathed on and they pop out babies ! I am so overwhelmed by all the meds every single cycle upon looking at them. I also become riddled with worry about the outcome of the cycle, but it will be what it will be. I have to have the sperm vial shipped to the clinic, but will do so on January 2nd and have them send it out for Tuesday delivery. The eggs will be thawed and fertilized on Friday, so that will be plenty of time. I will leave for Syracuse on Friday as well, as I have to go the HCG wash on Saturday (tentatively). I am hoping that all stays on point with this timeline so that I can do my transfer and get to Washington DC area for the arrival of my niece’s baby. I also have to start packing so that the rest of my belongings can be taken to storage for the movers to pick up everything from one place and take everything to California. I have so much stuff that it requires a 53 foot tractor trailer to take the items. I really should have gotten rid of more furniture, especially since I am changing the color scheme to gray, white and tangerine. I will just sell what I do not wish to keep once I get everything out there. Most of my boxes contain kitchen gadgets, stemware, kitchen stuff… etc. I entertain a lot so I of COURSE need all that stuff right? lol
In other news: My mother is recuperating well from her surgery. She is finally coming to the conclusion that she has to slow her buns down ! She thought she would just jump up and start doing things as before, and her pain level is teaching her otherwise. She is hardheaded LOL.
This weekend, I am decorating the condo for Christmas. I spent yesterday putting the tree up. I think it needs more lights so I will string another 4 or 5 strands on it today and then hang the ornaments and stick the plums and other decor on it. My mom is working on the buffet decor and the table. This year, I decided to do all silver decorations. It is looking pretty good. I will just be glad when I am done ! I miss my decorator!! My niece has a friend who LOVES to decorate. He did the entire house for me last year. I am tempted to put him on a plane and let him do it, but I am almost done and I am not that deep in the pockets for such lol.
I will post pictures when I am done with the decorating. Have a great weekend !!
After starting my day annoyed by people’s posts on Facebook (1) regarding the recently orphaned teen girl who was physically assaulted by a “police officer” in South Carolina and the rude, arrogant, judgmental statements spewing out of the mouths of racist individuals I actually thought were decent people (until they posted the most ignorant and racially charged words a person could say) and (2) a thread which started yesterday about people being allowed to bring children to a fertility clinic for their treatment which turned into a conversation about secondary infertility- I feel that if you are a parent, and you PLANNED to be a parent, then be an adult and hire a babysitter and stop bringing children to places children have no place being- moreover, I do NOT want to be at a fertility clinic watching women fawn all over their existing children when mine never made it to birth… it is rude and inconsiderate ! and while I feel for any woman who is battling infertility, there is NO comparison of SI to a woman who has never had the opportunity to be a mother. There is a different level of pain. These are two different situations and one does not negate the hardship of the other, but it is just different…. SO after reading this foolishness, I was annoyed until…. My nurse called to discuss the plan for my upcoming cycle and to go over what to expect.
Well, color me surprised that I start taking birth control pills after my next cycle ! In 5 weeks, I will be back to CD 1 and will start the pill along with the donor to sync our cycles YIKES ! This Just Got Real !! Now I have butterflies in my stomach ! I take birth control pills then I will be on Lupron until I am instructed to start taking Estrace to thicken my lining. I will also be on two different antibiotics (Doxycycline) and some other one that begins with a C that I have never heard of that is taken vaginally. I also will have to take PIO and Endometrin plus all my normal autoimmune meds. My meds have been ordered and I will fill them over the next month !! THIS JUST GOT REAL !!!
I have to purchase another all access pass to Xytex again and look through the all of the profiles to make sure that I do not want to change my donor for a better model (lol). I have not looked at the donor list since 2013 when I selected my donor, who I used for all of my cycles. I am going to make sure there are no newer donors that I may like better. I am kinda nervous about changing donors, but in almost two years, I am sure some new people have surfaced possibly and I may like them better….
In other news, my film has been screening as a final selection of the Reel Recovery Film Festival all across the USA. I was invited to do a live appearance for Q&A at the New York and Los Angeles festivals and next Saturday, it is screening in Ft. Lauderdale, FL. I am elated that all that hard work paid off and I am now an award winning film producer !
I am still dealing with Ms. Lunatic, Cristal ! For some reason, she is under an illusion that calling my phone from spoofed numbers, posting negative reviews about my books on websites and the like will not be tied back to her. There is this little thing the Police and FBI do called INVESTIGATING IP ADDRESSES and they can track things back to the originator. That coupled with public death threats and ones she has made over the phone and via text from spoofed numbers, it is just a matter of time before she lands herself in a padded cell. It has been since MAY and this woman is STILL obsessed with me. WHO does that? Insane Assylum-bound idiots !
On the family front, my sister and I are throwing a Tiffany & Co. Themed baby shower for our niece next week in Washington DC and it is a surprise for my niece. I have been busy learning how to make cake pops and purchasing all the favors and items for the shower.
My mom is scheduled to start her reconstructive surgery on December 2nd ! We lucked out that she no longer has to have her stomach done to fix the breasts ! No flap needed ! She will be getting two new implants and the left breast lifted and made smaller to match the right one. We will be in Northern Virginia for a week while she recuperates.
I am excited about being there because I will be able to spend some time mentoring pregnant teens with the Mary Elizabeth Project and also have time to volunteer at two shelters I support.
I am headed out shortly to Dollar Tree to go shopping for cases of items needed to make blessing bags for the homeless. My friend, former American Idol contestant, Frenchie Davis, is doing these bags for the homeless on Skid Row in LA this year so I am buying items to help out with her cause. I also opted to donate the money I was going to spend on myself during my annual Christmas Shopping Spree to a cause my make up artist is heading up to purchase Christmas gifts for homeless and low income children. I normally buy myself a new coat, boots, jewelry at Macy’s sales, and new clothing I find on sale, so this year, I will not be buying gifts for myself but for children and I feel pretty darn good about it.
In ME news, I have been doing my walk/run intervals every morning for 3.5 miles and again in the evening for 2 miles. I also go to aqua zumba 2-3 days a week. I am awaiting a call back from a great ballroom dance school and I am going to take lessons. I am truly enjoying living on the ocean and waking up to waves every morning or looking at the moon sit and shine over the ocean at night. I know now that this is where I belong ! ON THE SEA ! lol. Now if God can get that memo and make my pockets match up so I can buy a house on the Pacific Pallisades and a nice 100 ft yacht and all will be well with the world ! As you can see, I am big dreamer… but hey, you have to have something to work towards. 🙂
I am headed out to Dollar Tree and then off to a consignment shop to look for baby boy clothes for the teen I am sponsoring. I will also look for cute clothes for my niece and my niece’s baby… onesies are sooooo cute ! 🙂
Have a great weekend everyone !!
So, I spent the night after retrieval in excruciating pain. First it was the awful gas bubbles in my tummy that were trapped and had no where to go. I was ridiculously uncomfortable. I way lying in bed and then noticed the backs of my knees were also hurting pretty bad. I could not get comfortable and my right knee pain was radiating down into my calf. I was finally able to fall asleep after the Dulcolax I took earlier in the day kicked in. I was still bloated and the abdomen was distended and my legs ached. I told my camera man to keep an eye on me and if he noticed my breathing change to call 911 immediately.
I talked to my nurse when she called with the fertilization report and she suggested I go to Albany Medical Center.
When the camera crew was leaving, I arranged for a cab to come pick me up to and take me to the emergency room. I got there in about 20 mins, checked in and waited for a room. I was seen by an ER doc and then sent to radiology in the middle of his interview. I gave him my list of meds that CNY printed out for me to take over the next few days and off I was rolled to radiology. That was THE longest ride ever ! I had a doppler done of the groin and both legs and the scan did not show anything above the knee. After I was done, I was rolled back to the room #13 that I was previously in and two more ER docs and an assistant came in shortly after and explained that doppler scans and xrays do not show much below the knee and that it was suspected that I had a clot in the right leg in the calf. The good thing was that the Lovenox was started again after egg retrieval, so it will help dissolve any clots, being that it works very quickly, unlike Cumadin and other blood thinners that take days to build up in the system. Lovenox begins to work within two hours of the injection. Next, the insurance coordinator came in and got my information, registered me, and took copies of my insurance card and id. I relaxed on the cot and watched television for two more hours before they finally let me go. It took AN HOUR for a cab (after calling 2 different companies) to show up to pick me up and take me back to the hotel. I ordered pizza on the way back and it arrived within 20 mins of my return.
I was instructed to walk several times a day to increase blood flow and to monitor for various symptoms.
The leg pain was gone by last night before bed, so I was happy about that. The bloating has done down some and I am no longer in pain.
This morning, I got up an inserted the estrace, Endometrin, did the PIO injection, took the antibiotic, and later took the Prednisone, Claritin, and prenatal vitamin. I have to insert the Estrace three times a day and the Endometrin twice a day. I was going to do the Delestrogen, but since my elevated hormone levels are the cause of the blood clot, I will just stick to the vaginal dosage.
Tomorrow, I have to report to CNY Fertility Center and Spa in Albany at 9 am for acupuncture and then I will be having my transfer of prayerfully all three of my embryos at 10:30 am. I called today, but they do not check the embryos again until tomorrow so I am praying and hoping all three of them are still with us and growing and dividing strongly. I won’t know about the 4th one until tomorrow either. I have had dreams about three and so has my mom, so I am going to go with THREE !
Tonight at 9:30 pm was trigger night ! #wootwoot I did my Novarel 10,000 hcg shot IM !!
Today was such a long day for me. I got up at 2:30 am and took a shower, did my Ganirelix, Neupogen and Lovenox injections around 3 am on my way to Union Station to hop on the train to NYC. I got to NYC at 7 am and met my make up artist for breakfast and then hopped back on the subway to the Bronx for the visitation and homegoing services.
Some of my actor friends met me at the funeral home and we paid our respects. The service was very nice and surprisingly not at all sad as I expected it to be. It was truly a celebration of life for Grandmom Kate, who was 90 years old and Jared, who was 15. Cristal was very composed and even spoke the zillion people who came from far and wide to celebrate the lives of the great grandmother and grandson who left Earth together. I did not attend to the burial program at the cemetery. I just could not do it.
I left after the funeral with a friend of mine and we went to midtown to Pio Pio and had a great Peruvian dinner. I then headed over to Penn Station to board my 4 pm train to Albany. I was upset that my car service was 30 mins late picking me up and then I missed the steak dinner the hotel serves on Thursday nights right off the grill ! I ended up eating mac n cheese from the freezer in the hotel mini grocer, waited until 9:30pm and then mixed and injected the first trigger shot.
As instructed, this morning, I did my am shots and I have taken my synthroid, prednisone, prenatal vitamins, and a baby asprin. Tomorrow, I am going over to the clinic to do my intralipid infusion which will take an hour to do. It is easier to do them on Friday when there is a full staff and a full day, as opposed to waiting until Saturday before the retrieval. I do not want them to be rushed on Saturday, so I will go ahead and get it out of the way, plus it gives it a day earlier to work and get my immune system dormant.
Praying that I have all immature eggs this cycle and that all of them fertilize. I am hoping to have 4-5 embryos to transfer on day 3 and that two of them stick ! Putting it out there in the universe in case she is listening to me. I am also hoping that I have a few left over that I can grow to blasts and freeze for another cycle later. It would be nice 🙂