So…. My Surrogate Is Pregnant… And It Is NOT Mine !! – The 411

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Disappointed… Heartbroken… Pissed… In Mourning…

All of those things I feel all at once.

How I found out? The intended surrogate posted a jokey type post on Facebook announcing that she was not getting fat, but was pregnant. Since it is April, I thought maybe it was an April Fool’s prank.

Yesterday, I decide to text her and ask if she were joking or truly pregnant. After three long hours had passed, she responds, Yes 🤦🏾‍♀️ lol.

WTF do you mean LOL?

Over a year ago, this woman, who is 28 with three children, offered to be my surrogate after hearing me lament about the fact that I can not carry another child and that my sisters were physically unable to. She volunteered to be my surrogate and I happily accepted the offer. I told her that I would be ready in 2019. We have discussed all the particulars and as early as a month ago, we agreed that she would start the IVF process in September and transfer one embryo at a time. I have four eggs on ice and whatever embryos result will be what we have to work with.

I explained in detail what the process would look like for her and she was even excited about gifting me this opportunity to have a sibling for my daughter. She joked that she would have “our” baby by Summer and get her body back.

I am beyond livid ! And to add insult to injury, she attempts to deflect and gaslight me and say she is offended that I am not happy about her “unexpected blessing.” I am sorry but, four babys, three or four baby daddy’s, and the prospect of another welfare check is NOT an effing blessing. At what point do you grow up and become responsible for yourself, your body, and your family?

As mad as I am because an entire year has been wasted that could have been spent searching for a surrogate and that was wasted planning and preparing for another child, I must also realize that God will block anything that is not for me.

The last thing I want is my child coming through the spirit of a broken, promiscuous, child in a grown woman’s body !

I am hurt that all of my dreams of a future with my daughter and a sibling just got flushed down the drain.

I can not imagine being broke and just tossing away the opportunity to put $10,000 in my pocket for me and my children over a few moments of pleasure. She has said numerous times that she is very fertile. She knew better ! I assume she popped up pregnant trying to tie a man down. Newsflash, that NEVER works !

Obviously, the “no sex” or “no unprotected sex” clause which would have been in the contract in effort to protect my unborn child would have been ignored. For an unmarried surrogate, this would have been a requirement.

I honestly know I should accept this as a blessing in disguise, but my heart will not let me at this moment. I am angry and irritated. I feel duped and used. I absolutely hate putting faith and trust into someone only to be let down.

Now, I have to start this impossible search all over again ! Agencies are ridiculous and I am not spending another $100,000 to get a child.

It looks like my daughter may be an only child and I will be forced to destroy my remaining eggs. I am very grateful for my daughter, do not get me wrong. She has been asking me for sister for weeks now, thanks to an episode of Peppa Pig and also some other show she is infatuated with.

My heart is broken not only for me, but because I wanted my child to have a sibling and not be alone in this world…

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CBD Oil Benefits for Fertility – The 411

(Source Sensitimes.com)

shallow focus photography of cannabis plant

 

Infertility problems are surprisingly common, in fact, estimates that at least 10% of the female population have difficulty getting or staying pregnant – meaning, that more than 7 million women are alone facing fertility issues.

Regrettably, women are not the only ones who may additionally experience infertility issues. This issue affects both men and women on an equal level among couples experiencing infertility, kind of 35 percent is because of the male, while any other 35 percent is due to the woman. Every other 20 percent is a combination of both male and female factors, and the final 10 percent is unknown.

However, there are now some alternative therapies are at the upward thrust for helping with infertility issues. One of the popular therapies is CBD. This terrific cannabinoid has profound effects on fertility, greater of which is listed below;

What is CBD and What does it do?

CBD or cannabidiol has more than 40% of the extract of cannabis plants and is easily accessible. Used for the treatment of anxiety, seizures, PTSD, and leukaemia.

CBD is also used to ease pain during contractions, According to a study done by the Journal of the Society for Reproduction & Fertility. However, how useful is CBD for male and female fertility and IVF and how safe is its use is what we were going to find in this article?

CBD And Male Fertility

Infertility is a common problem faced by couples in today’s society. However, women are not the only one being affected by it. According to a study done on couples experiencing infertility, 35% were due to problems in men, 35% were due to problems in women, 20% were due to the combined problem in men and women whereas the 10% problems were unknown. Hence before trying to find solutions for infertility, one must find out the cause of the problem and then consult their doctors.

A research study conducted by doctors at the Ruhr University, Germany provides evidence that there is an active link between CBD and male fertility. The endocannabinoid system (ECS) in our body plays a huge part in fertility. It is a regulatory system which looks over almost every metabolism in our body. One of the systems in our body governed by ECS is the reproductive system. When CBD is administered into the body, it helps ECS to work more efficiently and smoothly.

Studies also suggest that the use of THC may stunt the sperm maturation process and impact the testosterone level adversely whereas the same is not right for CBD. It is observed that the use of CBD helps in the acrosome reaction which is the process of fusing of sperm into the plasma membrane and then entering the female egg for its fertilisation. Use of CBD is thought to allow the sperm to enter the female egg and fertilise it effectively. However, the research done in this field is not enough and need more attention. However if more studies in this area were conducted, then CBD can prove to be a significant breakthrough in helping to solve the different fertility issues.

CBD, Female Fertility and IVF Treatment

CBD works differently on the male and the female body. In women, it not only helps in getting women pregnant but as mentioned above, also helps in the delivery of the child. In a few cases, it is seen that if a woman used too much THC in her early months of pregnancy, CBD could be used to reduce its effect on their foetus and their bodies.

Studies have also shown THC to have the adverse effect on implantation, conceiving and ovulation, but with CBD, promising results have been discovered. Even though the research studies done in this area are slim, it is seen that CBD can help to reduce pain, inflammation, seizures, anxiety, spasms and much more.

Remember…

CBD is an effective method of getting pregnant in cases of male as well as female fertility problems. It does not have any side effect like THC and actually can be used to reduce the side effects done on the body by THC. Not only can it be used to increase the chances of being pregnant, but also helpful throughout pregnancy and in relieving contraction pain.

Adventures in Positive Parenting – The 411

As we get closer to the magical age of TWO… the dreaded TWO aka Terrible Twos, I find myself becoming anxious.

I have been working on “positive parenting” and have fallen off the wagon twice. It was then that I realized all I learned about positive parenting was indeed true. I do not want to spank or pop my child and she is a stubborn one who intentionally locks in and gives you back what you give her. Imagine that ! A stubborn child… I wonder where she gets that?

She does not like loud noise and fussing frightens her so I get down on her level, in her face, and talk to her and explain what she is doing, that it is not acceptable and I help her correct it.

It is A LOT of work to do this and you end up repeating yourself a million times ! In some things, she now tells you the rule before she is about to do something… like “just eyes, no fingers.”

As an only parent, it makes it so much harder because I am the only one with her every day all day. I have to balance being a disciplinarian with being her loving, supportive Mommy. I remind myself that I am merely here to guide this child through life and help her become her best self and not here to mold her into who I want her to be. I am here to encourage her strengths and find ways to help her cope with and move beyond any weaknesses.

My baby is headstrong and very determined to do things her way. She has a temper and a half when she can not have her way.

I am now watching for triggers to help avoid meltdowns. She normally falls out with me about my cellphone or my mom’s iPads. She would watch YouTube until all devices are dead if she could.

Now that summer is over, after our trip to the UK, we will be homeschooling using A Beka and Your Child Can Read programs. I am taking away use of technology and encouraging consistent use of books, crayons and pencils. I purchased a car seat contraption that slides over her and is a desk. I think once we get into a more structured routine, she will be more engaged in creating versus watching educational videos on YouTube.

I would love to hear from other Moms who use positive parenting in lieu of spanking.

I grew up getting spankings. It was effective and my mom is all for spankings but I do believe that I can achieve the same level of discipline without hurting, shaming, and beating a child into submission.

Prayers Please !

Twenty-three Months Old – The 411

I can not believe that my baby is almost TWO !

Time flies by so fast and if you blink, you miss it.

I am enjoying these last few days of ONEHood ! My baby girl is a handful ! She has quite an extensive vocabulary and is now also repeating words we say, whether you are speaking directly to her or not. She sings the commercial jingles and loves loves loves the children’s songs on YouTube ! If I hear Family Finger and Baby Shark ONE more time, I will pull my hair out by the roots. Lol.

We are shopping and packing and getting ready for our trip to the UK for her birthday and I am so excited to share this experience with her.

Tomorrow, we are headed to DC to hang out with friends, my sister and nieces, and my sister-girl is flying in from Canada. I can not wait to see everyone.

I hope all of you fellow bloggers and readers are well.

Till next time ~

Twenty Two Months Old – The 411

I am still in awe of this little creature I birthed. She is now 22 months old, soon to be 23 months old in a few weeks.

She is a sweet, strong-willed, chatty, music loving, learning enthused little girl. She is the perfect mix of silly, smart, curious, and loving.

This little girl is the best gift God could have ever blessed me with.

I am still torn as to whether I will have another via surrogacy, but I will soon make a decision.

We are busy preparing for the wee one’s birthday bash in London.

We will be departing the day after her 2 yr old physical. I am praying she doesn’t feel irritable after the appointment. I am not certain if vaccines are on the agenda but I do know that she is getting her first blood draw. I hate it ! I am glad that allergy testing will be done.

Nineteen Months Old Today- The 411

My sweet girl is 19 months old today ! Where does time go?

She is as busy as ever and a ball of bubbly energy.

She is starting terrible twos already and her new favorite phrase is “no no no !”

My baby’s latest obsession is READING ! She is constantly shoving books under our noses to read to her ! We have started the Baby Can Read program and the challenge is getting her to sit for extended periods. We will continue until I get her conditioned to sitting. She had no problem sitting at preschool but at home with Mommy, it is different.

We are planning her 2nd birthday bash. The theme will be Tea for 2 ! We are taking her to London for 6 days and we will have high tea at the Ritz for her birthday. My mom, and a few of our friends are supposed to be going. I am putting the travel plans together now.

We are excited to do this with her. I decided against doing a birthday party for her annually because people always RSVP and do not show up. I would rather plan trips and make photo albums for her with all of memories to view when she is older.

This summer, we plan to take her to Costa Rica, Dubai, and hopefully can get to Tampa to Busch Gardens Africa before it gets hot.

We are looking for a lake house to purchase in Florida before Fall so that we can move there as our Winter residence because it is consistently warmer. It has been extremely cold the past few years during Fall and Winter and we have spent quite a bit of time in FL this year and fell in love with it.

Until next post….