Oh My God Sweet Baby Jesus ! This JUST Got REAL ! – the 411

Oh My GawdThat moment when you speak to the nurse coordinator about your upcoming cycle and learn that since today is CD1, the very next CD1 is the first day of your IVF cycle !   OH LAUD !!!

After starting my day annoyed by people’s posts on Facebook (1) regarding the recently orphaned teen girl who was physically assaulted by a “police officer” in South Carolina and the rude, arrogant, judgmental statements spewing out of the mouths of racist individuals I actually thought were decent people (until they posted the most ignorant and racially charged words a person could say) and (2) a thread which started yesterday about people being allowed to bring children to a fertility clinic for their treatment which turned into a conversation about secondary infertility-  I feel that if you are a parent, and you PLANNED to be a parent, then be an adult and hire a babysitter and stop bringing children to places children have no place being- moreover, I do NOT want to be at a fertility clinic watching women fawn all over their existing children when mine never made it to birth…  it is rude and inconsiderate !  and while I feel for any woman who is battling infertility, there is NO comparison of SI to a woman who has never had the opportunity to be a mother.  There is a different level of pain.  These are two different situations and one does not negate the hardship of the other, but it is just different….  SO after reading this foolishness, I was annoyed until…. My nurse called to discuss the plan for my upcoming cycle and to go over what to expect.

Well, color me surprised that I start taking birth control pills after my next cycle !  In 5 weeks, I will be back to CD 1 and will start the pill along with the donor to sync our cycles YIKES !  This Just Got Real !!  Now I have butterflies in my stomach ! I take birth control pills then I will be on Lupron until I am instructed to start taking Estrace to thicken my lining.  I will also be on two different antibiotics (Doxycycline) and some other one that begins with a C that I have never heard of that is taken vaginally.  I also will have to take PIO and Endometrin plus all my normal autoimmune meds. My meds have been ordered and I will fill them over the next month !!  THIS JUST GOT REAL !!!

I have to purchase another all access pass to Xytex again and look through the all of the profiles to make sure that I do not want to change my donor for a better model (lol).  I have not looked at the donor list since 2013 when I selected my donor, who I used for all of my cycles.  I am going to make sure there are no newer donors that I may like better.  I am kinda nervous about changing donors, but in almost two years, I am sure some new people have surfaced possibly and I may like them better….

In other news, my film has been screening as a final selection of the Reel Recovery Film Festival all across the USA.  I was invited to do a live appearance for Q&A at the New York and Los Angeles festivals and next Saturday, it is screening in Ft. Lauderdale, FL.  I am elated that all that hard work paid off and I am now an award winning film producer !

I am still dealing with Ms. Lunatic, Cristal !  For some reason, she is under an illusion that calling my phone from spoofed numbers, posting negative reviews about my books on websites and the like will not be tied back to her.  There is this little thing the Police and FBI do called INVESTIGATING IP ADDRESSES and they can track things back to the originator.  That coupled with public death threats and ones she has made over the phone and via text from spoofed numbers, it is just a matter of time before she lands herself in a padded cell.  It has been since MAY and this woman is STILL obsessed with me.  WHO does that? Insane Assylum-bound idiots !

On the family front, my sister and I are throwing a Tiffany & Co. Themed baby shower for our niece next week in Washington DC and it is a surprise for my niece.  I have been busy learning how to make cake pops and purchasing all the favors and items for the shower.

My mom is scheduled to start her reconstructive surgery on December 2nd !  We lucked out that she no longer has to have her stomach done to fix the breasts ! No flap needed !  She will be getting two new implants and the left breast lifted and made smaller to match the right one. We will be in Northern Virginia for a week while she recuperates.

I am excited about being there because I will be able to spend some time mentoring pregnant teens with the Mary Elizabeth Project and also have time to volunteer at two shelters I support.

I am headed out shortly to Dollar Tree to go shopping for cases of items needed to make blessing bags for the homeless.  My friend, former American Idol contestant, Frenchie Davis, is doing these bags for the homeless on Skid Row in LA this year so I am buying items to help out with her cause.  I also opted to donate the money I was going to spend on myself during my annual Christmas Shopping Spree to a cause my make up artist is heading up to purchase Christmas gifts for homeless and low income children.   I normally buy myself a new coat, boots, jewelry at Macy’s sales, and new clothing I find on sale, so this year, I will not be buying gifts for myself but for children and I feel pretty darn good about it.

In ME news, I have been doing my walk/run intervals every morning for 3.5 miles and again in the evening for 2 miles.  I also go to aqua zumba 2-3 days a week.  I am awaiting a call back from a great ballroom dance school and I am going to take lessons.  I am truly enjoying living on the ocean and waking up to waves every morning or looking at the moon sit and shine over the ocean at night.  I know now that this is where I belong !  ON THE SEA ! lol.   Now if God can get that memo and make my pockets match up so I can buy a house on the Pacific Pallisades and a nice 100 ft yacht and all will be well with the world !  As you can see, I am big dreamer… but hey, you have to have something to work towards.  🙂

I am headed out to Dollar Tree and then off to a consignment shop to look for baby boy clothes for the teen I am sponsoring.  I will also look for cute clothes for my niece and my niece’s baby… onesies are sooooo cute ! 🙂

Have a great weekend everyone !!

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IVF #4 – Fertilization Report – The 411

baby- fertilization

My nurse, Greta, called this morning, but called from a blocked number so the call was sent straight to voicemail because I have a block on my phone to prevent calls from restricted numbers.

Unfortunately, out of the seven eggs, so far, one of them was mature and fertilized.  The others are being watched if and when they mature, will be fertilized later.  The last two cycles, I had immature eggs at retrieval and they matured later that day and then were able to be fertilized so I will will keep my fingers and toes crossed that these eggs do the same.  The E2 level was 1100 so that would indicate that the eggs, at least 5 of them, should have been mature.

This morning, I feel like I am on a job !  It is so daunting to devise a plan to take all the meds and injections and spread them out so that they do not interact with each other.

I am skipping my synthroid for a few days since my TSH is .04.  I took my antibiotic with breakfast and took the asprin.  I will wait until mid morning to take the prednisone.  At lunch, I will take the folic acid, prenatal vitamin and b6.  I did my neupogen, lovenox and PIO injections this morning.  I also have instructions to insert 3 Estrace vaginally.  I am still bleeding and experiencing blood clots, so I did the first dose and emailed the nurse to find out if I should just take the others orally until bleeding completely stops.  My nurse instructed me to continue to insert them vaginally and the bleeding should slow down.  It has slowed down a lot since yesterday.  If it does not stop, then I will have to go into the office tomorrow and be seen by the doctor.

My transfer is scheduled for 11 am on Tuesday. I am scheduled to do acupuncture at 10 am.

IVF #4 – Stim Day 9- The 411

baby - ivf 4 stim day 2

Tonight is hopefully my LAST night of stims !  I mixed and injected all the meds and surprisingly this cycle, I do not have one bruise !   WOW !   I made it through without looking like a human cushion pin !!

I have a monitoring appointment in the morning and more labs and I am praying that the other follicles catch up to the 20, 16 and 14 leads that I had on Monday.  I feel a lot fuller and more bloated.   My acupuncturist noticed my abdominal bloat this morning.

I went to acupuncture with my mom and then we grabbed lunch at a place she read about since she was craving fajitas.  She ended up not even liking them, which is typical lol.   Her taste buds are so off, I do not even know why she even tries to eat out.

After starting Taxol last week, my mom started experiencing radiating pain.  She text me at 2 am to ask if I was awake so that she could figure out something to take for the pain in her back.  I gave her a flexeril but it didn’t do much to help.  We called her Oncologist’s office this morning and they wrote a script for Vicodin.  I went and picked it up this evening and filled it when I went to pick up my Emla cream.  I found the numbing cream does help when injecting the PIO (progesterone in oil).

I have packed my box of spices and treats, packed up all my meds, needles and supplies and I am shipping those boxes to the hotel tomorrow so they will be there when I arrive on Thursday.  My hotel has a kitchen in the room, which I love, although they do serve a full breakfast daily and dinner Monday thru Thursday.  I always eat breakfast, but I usually just have to concierge take me to the grocer and I buy food to cook since I am so picky.   My mom is going with me this time, so I will have company !!  I am excited that she will be coming along.  Being that Upstate NY is extremely cold and it is to be -2 on Thursday, I doubt we will venture out except to the grocer.  We will probably go see a movie on Saturday at the mall if I am up to it.

Please send up some prayer that this last injection pushes these little follicles to where they need to be.  I will drink a few cups of Ballerina Tea tomorrow when I get  back from my appointments and “clean out”.  I found that by cleaning the digestive tract, I did not have nearly as much bloating and discomfort post-procedure since I emptied my colon and intestines the day before.

Bloody Butt ! – The 411

baby - pio

This morning, I gave myself a PIO shot and I pulled back on the needle and there was no blood so I did the injection.  After I removed the needle, a oily blood stream starts running down my butt cheek !  I went into freak out mode !  LOL.   I grabbed a washcloth, wet it with hot water and pressed it to my tush.

I heated up my aromatherapy heating pad and placed it on my buns and checked a bit later to make sure it stopped bleeding.  I guess I went down a bit too far today.  I will go back up closer to the flank next time.

I am sitting here waiting patiently for the phone to ring by noon.  I called my clinic to check on my chirren.  (lol)  I am praying they are both still growing and dividing beautifully and waiting to come back home to Momma on Monday with their other little frozen sibling.

It is my prayer that this is it the LAST time I have to do this.  No more ivf meds.  No more traveling hours away from home for eight nights and being bored to tears.  No more poking and prodding every two days….  I want a different experience. I welcome violent morning sickness, tender boobs, expanding midsection, thunder thighs, itching skin, pelvic pain, and even pushing babies out !  YES, I welcome it all as long as healthy little mini-me’s are at the end of that.

This should be the most natural thing a woman can do.  Hell, meeting Mr. Right and getting proposed to and living happily ever after for a woman who has it going on should be too, but such is my life !

Fingers crossed… toes crossed… arms crossed… legs crossed…   prayers up !   #twinsinJuly

IVF #3 Fertilization Report and the Plan – The 411

baby- fertilization

This morning, I waited patiently for my clinic to call with my fertilization report.  I had to go into the clinic at 11 am anyway to get my PIO shot instructional.  Before I left, they had not called and when I arrived, the nurse told me she called me and left a message.  I realized they called my home number and not the cell.

Out of eight eggs retrieved from twelve follicles, only two of them fertilized. The other six were not of a quality / maturity to even fertilize.

I was given the option to do a three day transfer with the two embryos if they make it to day three or to wait and see how they develop and do a five day transfer.

I was disappointed that more eggs did not fertilize, but even with my first cycle,( twelve egg retrieved and only seven fertilized and four made it) and my second cycle (four eggs retrieved, three fertilized and three made it to blasts) I wanted to wait it out and let the strongest survive.

By waiting until Monday and doing a five day transfer, I had the option of thawing my frozen one and transferring that one with the other two, so ultimately, that is what I decided to do.  I had one frozen from my first cycle and it was perfect quality and made it to day six.

So…. on Monday, I will transfer the three embryos and pray that at least two of them stick !  My mom wants me to have triplets… why, I do not know !  Two would be more than enough but hey, we beggars can not be choosers LOL.  I will take whatever the good Lord wants to bring through me !

I was about to get in my feelings about only having two eggs fertilize, but then, I only really need two.  I do not want to be stuck with the decision of what to do with extra embryos should I have babies in this cycle.  That would be really heartbreaking to get rid of embryos.

I chose to remain positive and trust that THIS IS MY CYCLE !

As for the progesterone in oil shot, it was no where near as bad as I thought it was going to be !  Did not hurt at all when the nurse injected it !  I was really glad since I had been fearing the shot with dread.

The nurse gave me some extra needles so that I can do them myself or I can come back to the clinic to get it done.  I am not going to pay $20 RT in a car service just to get the shot.  I have to do this on my own.  I will try to do it in the buns but if I run into problems, I can always inject my thigh.  I have a prescription for Emla cream so I will fill that today and numb the area prior to injecting it.  You rub the cream on an hour before injecting.

I am now back in my hotel room and just whipped up a burger and baked potato for my lunch.  I put on a pot of collards earlier this morning to accompany my pan seared center cut pork chops.  For some reason after my retrieval, I am always STARVING !  I ate so much food yesterday when I got back, I felt ashamed.

So now ladies, pray for my two little ones that they keep growing and dividing and that my frozen baby thaws well.   Come Monday, I will be PUPO !! 🙂

IVF # 3 – Cycle Day 1 – The 411

baby - lets get this party started pink keep calmUnexpectedly as I was in the garage about to hop in the car to go to the movies with my mom this morning, I felt this little gush and I ran in the house to see what was going on and lo and behold, my PERIOD STARTED !!!  Can you say HEAVY !  UGH.  I had no cramping… no twinges…  Aunt Flo just showed up with a vengeance !  I absolutely HATE clotting.  It messes every freaking thing up because tampons are not going absorb when clots are present so you have to change them frequently and SHE does NOT use pads!  I HATE the feeling of something running and the thought of messing up my clothing is not appealing either.

I was relieved that the clotting stopped and the bleeding lightened up after a few hours because we are leaving this afternoon for the trip and I was dreading having to deal with this all weekend !

Now I am in the mad rush to get my Menopur here by Tuesday.  I have one box left from last cycle and I also have all of my other meds except the Menopur.  I was able to get Menopur pretty cheap some from another patient who has left overs.  Being about to buy meds from other women who have gotten their BFP or who have abandoned their treatments after a BFN has been a blessing !  I can use that money to do other things, like buy baby equipment and furniture.  I will donate any meds I have left over after I get pregnant and make it past 7 months.

I am really upset that my period started early because that just pushed up my egg retrieval date to the week that my mom has her surgery or the week after.  I was going to have a 2 week retrieve.  Now I will just fly in and out the day of my retrieval and then come back in 5 days for my transfer and leave the same day again.  I am not going to stay in Albany for a whole week by myself.  I am thinking about not having the film crew film this IVF.  I am tired of being on display.  I have not even looked at the footage from the first 2 IVFs.

In other news…. guess what I got?

baby - ivf 3 PIO

Yep… butt injections.  Progesterone In Oil !  I have avoided this like the plague since IVF #1 but the 22 gauge needles have found a way into my life 😦   I will be doing PIO in addition to Endometrin after my retrieval.

I swear my kids better be saints and NEVER give me a day of grief with all I am going through just to have them LOL.  We can all hope right? 🙂