Although I have been taking HPTs for several days and getting negatives, I still had to go in for a blood test this morning. The doctor’s office called at 1pm to tell me what I already knew.

I called Dr. Kiltz on Thursday and again on Friday leaving voicemails on his cellphone asking for a return call.  His birthday was Thursday, so he was not available since he had plans over the weekend, per the nurse.

The reason for my call is to get some answers about the mishap on the day of my retrieval when Embryology discarded my six eggs instead of watching them for maturity and then doing rescue ICSI, which rendered that cycle with only one egg to work with.  I was so livid that I almost cancelled my transfer when I found out the morning of.  Also, I asked Dr. Kiltz in January to order Embryo Glue for my transfer, which I understood he had ordered and when I got there, no one knew a thing about it.  Mistakes like this are no acceptable.  Suppose the Embryo Glue would have helped the embryo stick?  Suppose they had watched the other eggs and they matured and all of them or most of them had fertilized and stuck around for the three days until transfer?  There are too many unknowns and what ifs.

I also want to talk to Dr. Kiltz about doing another own egg ivf and completely changing the protocol and meds to Dr. Sher’s suggested protocol for advanced maternal age women. After watching the video, I learned that the reason why eggs are immature is because of ovarian overexposure to testosterone from the Menopur.

Initially, I started on 150 units of Menopur and the last two cycles, it was upped to 300.  According to Dr. Sher, Menopur should not be added until the end of a cycle and only in small amounts of either 37.5 units (1/2 vial) or 75 units.  Adding it at the end of a stim cycle gives the ovaries just enough testosterone to function but not enough to ruin the eggs and stout their development.  If too much testosterone is introduced to the ovaries, it will compromise the eggs development and you end up with a cycle that has lots of follicles that produce no eggs or immature eggs.

I had made up my mind before learning all this that I would only do this one last cycle before moving on to donor eggs.  After having a few conversations with fellow IVF’ers, I was left with “give it one more try with an different protocol and meds and them move on so you do not end up always wondering if it could have worked.

My mom and I talked about it and she feels that I should go for it.  She said the same thing, that if I did not try changing the meds and heeding the advice given, since it seems to explain the issues in my past three cycles to a T, then I would beat myself up should I get pregnant using donor eggs and always wonder if I could have done something different.

I have taken all the right supplements, followed the proper diet, exercised, gone to weekly acupuncture and then went through stims and ended up in the same place. It would not be a stretch to think that the protocol I am on and the meds I have been taking are just not right for me and something could be tweaked to get a better outcome.  The fact that my embryos make it to day five blasts without losing them is promising and lends to a decent egg quality.

I am going to discuss my concerns with the doctor and see what his thoughts are.  My friend who changed to this protocol and these meds had the best cycle out of five and is currently pregnant and will be giving birth in a few weeks.  She had a lot of great quality embryos come from that cycle.

I learned from information from Dr. Sher that HGH does not do much good (obviously !).  That was a waste of money !

I am planning on giving my body a break until next month and then start another cycle.  I will take this time to drop the weight I gained this past month while on stims and work on losing even more if I can. I was looking really good before I started injections !  Now my tummy is pudgy and black and blue 😦