Okay, now I am trying not to be too pissed off.  This entire process is so difficult and taxing on one’s nerves.  It is like trying to get to finish line… you can see it, but you still have a few yards to go to cross it !

I had blood drawn yesterday for beta hcg.  My beta was 29 last week and this week…. 19 !  UGH UGH UGH !  Why is it not ZERO?  Next week it will probably be just 9…. I am ready for it to drop to 0 so I can get started on my next cycle before it interferes with my plans for my premiere.  God forbid it doesn’t drop in the next 2 wks.  My film premiere is on August 16th and I can not be in DC and in Albany at the same time and I am not trying to do the commute back and forth in the middle of this premiere !   I guess the term “it is what it is” is applicable here…

In other news, I FINALLY got my genetic test results back on the baby I lost.  Just as I suspected, it was a GIRL !! Oddly enough, she was perfectly fine.

– No genetic abnormalities

– No trisomys

– No downs syndrome

– No translocations

– NO NOTHING !

I spoke with Dr. Grossman this morning to get his take and he says that it could be genetic and just below the level of detection for the testing they are able to perform.  It could also possibly be autoimmune and that testing and treatment for autoimmune issues has not been shown to make a difference in the outcome.  What can be done is giving low dose blood thinners, anti-inflammatory steroids to suppress the immune system, and low dose asprin, all of which I was already on this past cycle- and hope the outcome is different with the next cycle. I did ask him if neupogen wash and or injections being added to the protocol would help.

It is so disappointing and such a helpless feeling to not have answers and then having to just GUESS at a protocol and HOPE for the best.  I do not think I can do more praying that I did and have been doing thru out this whole ordeal.

This is truly in the hands of God !