Bun In The Oven !! – The 411

baby - bun in the oven 2

Today, I am 4W2D, and I am IN SHOCK still.  It has NOT set in that my beta came back positive !

Some of the things I noticed that were similar to my 1st BFP after my IVF #1, when I got back from Upstate NY, I had a terrible allergy attack.  It was very random and I felt like I was coming down with a cold.  The same thing happened when we returned from Upstate NY from the clinic again. I ran out to Walgreens and picked up a bottle of Claritin and started taking it in the morning and in a few days, it cleared up.

I now have a significantly less appetite.  Last week, everything had this weird taste to me.  I could have sworn every thing I ate had a slight almond taste to it and it was such a turn off.  I also feel pulses of blood swirling and I felt that during my 1st pregnancy and I also am often a little short of breath.  These are also familiar symptoms.

I am still in disbelief that FOUR pregnancy tests yielded negative results.  I will wait until Monday morning when I go for my second beta to POAS again.

My mother, of course, is over the moon about this and is already to start purchasing baby items, despite the fact that I have a storage unit with several huge boxes of baby items I amassed over the months I was preparing for IVF#1 and while I was pregnant.  I asked her to refrain from making any purchases until I am at least 6 months pregnant.

baby - bun in the oven

I will update on Monday after I get my second beta results.  Wish me luck !



Blog Update 1/29 – The 411

IVF #6 - im pregnant read the fine print

Today is 11DP3DT and I took a digital FRER first thing this morning before heading out to the dreaded beta.  The FRER said HELL NO !

IVF #6 - HPT that lied

I packed up all my injectibles, put up my other meds and boxed them all up feeling defeated.  I had spoken with my RE and told him that my cycle had failed and he wanted to schedule me for laparoscopic surgery to figure out what is going on and to rule out endometriosis.  I had already contacted Cape Fear Fertility in South Africa and pulled the forms for California Conceptions and San Diego Fertility.

I went about my day sulking and made appointments with my Internist, my OB for a referral to an RE and also with my NYC RE.

My phone rings this afternoon and it is CNY.  I called them back after letting the phone go to voicemail and I had the nurse on the line and I was sitting there with a tude waiting for her to tell me how sorry she was etc.   This heifer says CONGRATULATIONS.  I was like FOR WHAT?  She said your beta is 84 !  I was like say WHAAAAAT?   I do not remember any thing she said after that….  I remember saying MOM…. I’m… PREGNANT !   All I remembered after that was putting the phone back to my ear saying WHAT THE HELL and the nurse telling me that I have follow up blood work on Monday and Congrats….

How many times have I cautioned other patients not to believe the HPT because they can be false… God has got jokes huh???   Really God.  This is how you are gonna play me?  REALLY?  I am NOT amused, but so grateful !   I am still going to be cautiously optimistic until I see a fetal pole, a heartbeat, and can make it past 20 weeks !   I see my OB on the 10th so if all is well, I am demanding that he to a TAC so that my cervix doesn’t fail me.

Can you guys believe this?

IVF #6  - Beta smile

I am a MOMMY !!!!!!



Blog Update – 1/28 – The 411


That moment when you feel like you have done all you can and God laughs and continues to shut doors in your face.  Why?  What could I have done to deserve this as my constant end result?

What is God’s lesson or blessing in “NO” ?

What next?

Does anyone know why a 29 year old would produce embryos with fragmentation? Why does a 39 year old produce embryos that are only “fair” in grade?

Fifth BFN…. 18 embryos … no baby.

The End ~

Blog Update – 1/26 – The 411

Cray Cray

Today, I am eight days past transfer and I do not feel any symptoms other than they usual ones taking Delestrogen and Progesterone cause.  I do not “feel” pregnant and fear that this cycle is a bust.  I know that “technically” I am only six days past blast stage, but I just do not feel like this cycle took.  I remember when I got pregnant after my first cycle, I was having trouble breathing, was extremely sleepy, and I also remember having extremely sore breasts.

I try to look at every little thing as a symptom, but I honestly feel like my period is days away.  That weird body  / pms feeling you get a week before your period starts.. that is how I feel.

As positive as I try to remain, I lose hope every time I read a post about how another who had a transfer around the same time as mine are already testing and getting BFPs and are exhibiting symptoms.  I have none.  I am finding myself getting in a rut and becoming more and more depressed.

Now I will be left with the task of figuring out what, if anything to do next.  I felt that with donor eggs, I had my best chance at getting pregnant.  I was a bit dismayed that there was slight fragmentation with the donors eggs, yet I never had any fragmentation.  I was secretly heartbroken when I only ended up with three embies out of that batch of eggs, which meant I had none left over to try again and all that money out of the window.

With my move to LA, I will have to save up to do another cycle, unless I find donor embryos and pay my clinic for storage and $1500 per transfer.  I would have to talk to my RE about how that would work.  I also was looking into San Diego Fertility as well, as they have donor embryos already and charge $10k for a three cycle guarantee.  After those three cycles, if you are not pregnant, then your can either get three more tries with no guarantee or get your money back.   I would have to wait until the end of the year to set aside enough to cover this plus meds.  The only good thing is, I would not have to pay to travel.

Right now, my mind is just full of thoughts and I simply can not concentrate.   I am exhausted mentally and just want to crawl into a little hole and hibernate…



Happy Sabbath !


My morning started with a run to the grocery store to purchase five newspapers so that I could stock up on the inserts.  In my boredom, I started extreme couponing lol.   I was hunting down the P&G inserts so that I could collect the $3 off each Tide or Gain Pods and $2 off the bottles of Tide Free and Clear ! I also found a website http://www.insertinsanity.com and ordered 15 more inserts which are coming in the mail on Tuesday.  I hit the motherload of pay dirt !   I went to CVS and bought the Tide Free and Clear for $5.34 each – the $2 off coupons = $3.34 per bottle.  I then saved $29 and only spent almost $7 with the reward bucks.  At Walmart, I purchased five Tide and Gain Pods for $3.97 each then used the $3 off coupon = $.97 each bag !! I saved $15 and only spent almost $6 out of pocket.   When my mailers come, I will go back and purchase 15 more bottles of Free and Clear and 15 more pods !

I learned of a neat diaper haul too !  I went to Target and my mom and I both did a baby registry so that I could score the gift bags.  Inside, is a bunch of coupons, specifically the Honest Company $25 off a $50 purchase !  So..today, a diaper sale launched at Target for $24.99 per box.  If you purchase 3 boxes, you get a free $20 giftcard.  Then pay for the items using your Target Red Card and get an additional 5% off !  So, I saved $99 on six boxes of Honest Diapers and only spent $50 OOP ! Target also sends a 15% off registry purchase coupon in the mail too!!

couponing haul 3

Valerie - jan 24

Anyway, I have had a busy day cooking today !  I made blueberry muffins and bacon for breakfast before my coupon shopping hauls then came back in an whipped up Cinnamon Rum Soaked Raisin Bread.  For dinner, I made garlic mushroom chicken, buttered egg noodles, collards, and squash/zucchini/onion.

Who Ordered Snow & Ice? – The 411


Yesterday, I got up at 3 am and left for my return to the condo.  On the way out, it had already started with the icy rain.  There were about 10 tractor trailers overturned, down embankments or off in the trees on the interstate !  Several cars had spun out and were pressed up against guard rails and damaged beyond recognition.  Quite a few other cars had hit each other.  I was glad I had the sense to drive 20 mph until I got out of there.

After landing back home, I brought my luggage and other stuff in and left out for my afternoon acupuncture appointment.  This acupuncturist is amazing !  He introduced me to Moxa!  Anything involving heat is my friend ! Lol




As I lay there for 90 minutes, I figured it was a great time to make silly face selfies while listening to music. 

I am so glad to be back in the sun and ocean air. 

I spoke with sister in NC and they got a lot of ice and some snow.  There were a lot of power outages in some areas.  My sister in VA said they have already gotten a foot a snow a day expecting another foot or more.  They can’t even get the car out.  Ooooo how glad I am that I left before that madness.  This is a great part of my decision to relocate to California.  I can NOT with all that snow and cold !

Honey Oatmeal Bread – Recipe

Honey Oatmeal Bread


  • 2 cups boiling water
  • 1 cup Quaker rolled oats
  • 1/2 cup organic honey
  • 2 tablespoons organic sweet cream butter
  • 2 teaspoons sea salt
  • 1 (.25 ounce) package active dry yeast
  • 1/2 cup warm water (110 degrees F)
  • 4 cups bread flour
  • 2 tablespoons organic honey, warmed slightly
  • 2 tablespoons Quaker rolled oats


  1. In a large mixing bowl, combine boiling water, oats, 1/2 cup honey, butter and salt. Let stand for 1 hour.
  2. In a small bowl, dissolve yeast in warm water. Let stand until creamy, about 10 minutes.
  3. Pour the yeast mixture into the oat mixture. Add 2 cups of flour; mix well. Stir in the remaining flour, 1/2 cup at a time, beating well after each addition. When the dough has pulled together, turn it out onto a lightly floured surface and knead until smooth and elastic, about 20 minutes. Lightly oil a large bowl, place the dough in the bowl and turn to coat with oil. Cover with a damp cloth and let rise in a warm place until doubled in volume, about 1 hour.
  4. Deflate the dough and turn it out onto a lightly floured surface. Divide the dough into two equal pieces and form into loaves. Place the loaves into two lightly greased 9×5 inch loaf pans. Cover the loaves with a damp cloth and let rise until doubled in volume, about 40 minutes.
  5. Preheat an oven to 350 degrees F.
  6. Bake in the preheated oven for about 30 minutes or until the top is golden brown and the bottom of the loaf sounds hollow when tapped. Remove loaves from pans, brush tops of loaves with 2 tablespoons honey and sprinkle with oats.

Blog Update 01/19- The 411



One thing I hate about the East Coast are the brutal Winters.  I deplore cold weather ! It is freezing in the Washington DC area tonight. I can’t do another Winter on the east coast.  I need California sunshine and warmth, though it’s unseasonably cool there to. 

Okay, I just wanted to vent about being cold!   I am under my heated blanket, wishing there was a fire in the fireplace. 

Buuuuuurrrrrrrrrr !