IVF #4 – So It Starts – The 411

baby - estrace


Today, I started taking Estrace (estrogen) for my estrogen priming protocol !  I have to take two of the little blue pills per day.  What is so odd is that these are the SAME little blue pills we put up out hoo-haa later in the cycle.  Where they do that at?  lol

I am taking Estrace for seven days then I have to wait for my period to start, which should be next weekend.  Once my period starts, I am to go in for a baseline and pending no cysts or weird stuff, I start stims.

I am taking 4 maca root pills in the afternoons until my period starts to ward off cysts due to high estrogen levels.  The maca root balances out the estrogen by adding progesterone to our system.

In other news, my mother has completed the first round of chemo and has a little break for three weeks until she starts eight weeks of the second round of chemo (toxil) which is really harsh. She will have a chemo infusion every 2 weeks. After she finishes the second round of chemo, she starts daily radiation and then will have reconstructive surgery.

On the dating front, my mom suggested I join sites that exclusively feature European men since they are more my speed and definitely are my interest. European men, according to several people I have spoken too, my personal experience and as read in several articles, are a bit different than American men of the same age bracket.  They are more mature in terms of relationship and are more apt to be looking for marriage as opposed to a booty call or hookup.  Now, we can not categorize all American men as such, but over the past few months, it is becoming apparent, with my experience on dating sites, and the experiences of others I have spoken too that American men in the age bracket of my interest, are still in party mode.  You meet more men who want sexual escapades without commitment than you do men who are serious and looking for a committed relationship.

There are several renowned sites, such as Meetic.com, Flirtbox (Ireland), Parship (France), EuropeanCupid, etc that I am looking at and putting up profiles on.  Hopefully, I will run across a tall, intelligent, gorgeous Italian, Englishman, or Greek ! 🙂  I am also joining two language exchange groups which is another place to meet the kind of man who peeks my interest.  Wish me luck !   I figure the one way to find what you want is to start actively looking for it and placing yourself on the path of where those things are.

Would it not be awesome if I pop out some twins AND find Mr. Right or a few Mr. Rights to take prospect applications from? lol



Dating Woes – The 411

baby - Awkward Moments in Animal Dating

Why does online dating feel like I am starring in an installment of National Lampoons Vacation?

At the urging of friends, you may remember, I signed up for Match.com, EHarmony.com (a total waste of money), and InteracialDatingCentral.com.  I also added the Tinder and Coffee Meets Bagel apps.

I am very picky, I must state, but hell, look at all the other party is getting !  I am a gorgeous, tall, brilliant, educated, down to earth, outgoing, family oriented, well rounded, personable girl who is not a chicken head and am sane.  I have my shit together, and I know what I want.  Unlike the Kardashian template, I do not have a sex tape and I have NOT been laid on more times than a mattress at a Motel 7.  That is what ALL men claim they are looking for… right?

So, I have met a few nice guys, but of course those few were shorter than me, which is problematic for me.  Is it too much to ask for that a guy be a least 6 feet tall since I am 5’11?  Is is too much to ask for that the guy be good looking, educated, and have his shit together?  I do not have time to raise a little boy.  I need a confident MAN.

On my profiles, I make it clear that I am dating but dating with the intent of winding up in a committed relationship that will end in marriage.  I make it clear that I am NOT looking for a hookup nor casual sex partners.

Men fall at my feet all day long. Comes with the territory of being a beautiful woman and a model/actress.  That does NOTHING for me.  I am the kind of woman who is turned on by intellect.  I am turned on when a man can stimulate me mentally.  If he comes out of the gate trying to get into my panties, and totally disregards the fact that I am not interested in screwing, then what am I to do but bounce?

Why is it soooooo freaking hard for men NOT to play games?  You read my profile but you figure YOU will break me?  Really?   I did not get to where I am by being a pushover and being controlled by what is between my legs; nor did I get to where I am by using what is between my legs.  I worked hard.  I deserve to be with a man that I can get to know. … a man I can be friends with first… no pressure… no sex… just hanging out, having fun, getting to REALLY know each other without bringing intimacy into the game.

ALL of these men seem to need to put an ice bucket on their johnsons ! COOL OFF !  I talk to a guy a couple of times and it delves into ” so what is your bra size?”  “you want to cuddle?”  “you are so beautiful, I would love to *(&^ you”….. REALLY DUDE?   Did I NOT tell you up front what I was looking for?  Why are you asking me if I am good in bed?  Why are you asking me sexual questions?  Then get offended when my response is ” that is nothing that should concern you at this juncture.  You should be more concerned with getting to know me.”  I am not a prude.  I am just interested in finding a husband at this point in my life.  I have played all I care to and I want to work on building something serious.  Sex is truly the icing on the cake in relationships but it is not the totality of the relationship.  When you bring sex into a relationship too soon, that is all you really have.  You lose focus and your edge.  You become controlled by it.  You do not make decisions that are best for YOU because you become addicted to the sex.  You will stay in a relationship that you are truly not happy in because the sex is good.

It is TIME OUT for that !  How do you get to know someone if you are spending the bulk of your time in bed?  I KNOW that I am worth the wait.  I know what I really want.  Men will say and do anything to get into your drawers !  I have a lot of male friends and they have even told women that they loved them, knowing they did not, just because they wanted to have sex with the woman.

Is it so wrong to want to now wait until marriage for sex?  I do not want to be a repository for sperm and an object of lust and desire without commitment.

Why are all the guys I meet, who seem like they fit the bill in other areas, so damned HORNY?  Get your life !

Fellow Bloggers/ Blog Readers, any advice?  Comments?  Experiences?


Twas The Night Before Retrieval – The 411

keep calm - just one more day

This morning, I arrived in Albany and the car service picked me up and delivered me safely to my hotel.  I checked in early and then the hotel staff took me to the grocery store.  I picked up a few groceries to get me through my stay, as my suite has a kitchen in it.

I came back, made a few burgers to get me through today and tomorrow, whipped up a baked potato, ate and then sat down to rest.

After a few hours, I met a guy for coffee at Starbucks across the street that I met on Match.com.  He is really cute, from Austria, and is 6’4.   He is a financial advisor and is pretty laid back.  We sat and talked for a few hours and then he walked me back to the hotel, had a glass of wine in the lobby and then he went home.  I came in and did my neupogen injection and took my prednisone.

We agreed to meet again for dessert and coffee in a day or so.

This dating thing is not as awkward as I thought it would be.  Well, I guess when you are hanging out with someone who has something in common with you, it is not too shabby.

My clinic sent me a message today that a production company contacted them about casting me for a show about SMBC.  The production company also sent me an inbox on FB.  I reached out to them and am awaiting one of the producers to call me to discuss.

I am very excited about my procedure tomorrow and am praying for good healthy mature eggs and an awesome fertilization report !

I will update tomorrow after I get in as to how many eggs they aspirate.

IVF #3 Stim Day 8 – The 411

baby - IVF3 stim day 1

Today, my mom had her first follow up with one of her surgeons.  Her plastic surgeon took the drain out and said everything looks good !   My mom is more alert and is coming out of the anesthesia fog.  Today, she went out with me for an hour to take the car to the Audi dealership so that they could replace the brake light bulb, but it turns out the whole LED assembly has to be replaced… $600 !  REALLY?   Okay….. gimme the loaner car and fix it!  It is nice to be able to hang out with my mom because truly things could have gone another way !

I had a date tonight with an accountant I met on Match.com.  He is really sweet.  He is Philipino  and Ecuadorian and is 6’2.  He is very family oriented and is a huge music and movie buff.

I got in and immediately mixed my meds and did my injection. My gonal-f was increased to 450 for the next few days to get my E2 level to rise.  When checked on Monday, it was only 123.  It needs to rise this week to over 1000.  Since they are stimming me slow and even, they expect it to rise late in the cycle but my RE did agree to max out the Gonal-F to help kick the E2 up.

Tomorrow is my next blood work and monitoring appointment, and then my mom has a follow-up appointment with the breast specialist/ oncology surgeon.

I kinda worry what reaction I will get from guys I am dating and interested in once they learn I am undergoing IVF treatment.  I see no need to put my mommy quest on hold.  I may or may not ever meet Mr. Right, so who ever God sends in my life will have to accept me for what I am… twins on board and all !

IVF #3 – Pre-Stims – The 411

baby - lupron for cycle 3

For three weeks, I had to take 2 mg of Estrace twice a day and during the last week, I had to do the Endometrin progesterone support vaginally.  I fully expected to be a hormonal mess, but I felt no different.  The last five days, I have had to add in 10 units per day of Lupron injections.  The insomnia started almost immediately.

I finished the Estrace and Endometrin doses and am now awaiting my period to start so that I can go in for a baseline and get instructions to start stimming.  My period should start on October 9th or 10th.

In the middle of this next cycle, my mother will be having surgery to remove the remaining breast tissue and cancer from her right breast on October 15th. She will start radiation and possibly chemotherapy within six weeks of the surgery.  After she completes treatment, she will go back in for surgery to have a tummy tuck so they can remove enough skin to make the flap for her breast, insert a temporary implant, and then in another surgery, they will put in two new implants and reduce and lift the left breast.  So now she will have a flat tummy and perky boos !  I told her I am officially hating ! lol

My mom is very tired but she has all this nervous energy.  She has rearranged her closets, sorted clothing to donate, rearranged her sewing studio, and re-did the stuff in the kitchen cabinets.  Oh… and she rearranged and organized the garage !  She has WAY too much nervous energy.

In regards to my mom’s cancer diagnosis, I have been a bit reflective and very nervous.  There are never any guarantees in life and anything could go wrong.  I fear getting pregnant and having babies and she not being around to get to know then and for them to get to know her.  I worry about meeting Mr. Right and her not being there to walk me down the aisle.  My father and grandfather have been gone 14 years and 9 years respectively.  So many thoughts rush into one’s mind when faced with mortality.  There is this quiet voice that keeps saying all will be well.  I have to trust that and focus on staying calm through this cycle and being supportive of my mom.

My sisters and I are planning a tea for her the weekend before her surgery.  We started this tradition of doing a tea when she had breast cancer 8 years ago and we started a foundation called Tea For 2 Foundation to educate and support persons affected by breast cancer.

With everything going on, I am looking forward to going on a short trip this weekend!

I am still trying to learn the ropes for EHarmony.com.  That website is so confusing.  I get a little ticked that they keep sending me matches that are 5 ft 6 or 5 ft 8…. I AM 5’11 and I wear ridiculous heels !  Once I am more familiar with the site, it may go a bit easier.  With Match.com, I am chatting with a few guys.  I will make an effort to go out on a few meet and greets next week when I get back.  This is all so nerve wrecking.  A few guys have asked me for my number, but I do not feel comfortable giving out my number just yet.  It is so hard to get rid of people once they have your phone number.  At least my phone has the block feature, but that will not work if they call from other numbers !  UGH.  I guess I need to loosen up a bit, but I swear I do not want to meet Chester the Molester and then have to change my phone number.  Maybe a burner phone will work?