Fifteen Weeks Post Partum- The 411

Today, my little angel is now 15 weeks old ! 
She is growing , learning, and expressing herself.  She is responsive when she is talked too.She flashes a big toothless grin and she cooes, often emulating the sounds we make  make.   

She is now trying to stand up when on my lap.  She is quite independent too. The baby no longer likes lying down, she prefers to be sitting upright where she can survey her surroundings. A few weeks ago, I noticed that she tantrums and stretches out when she wants something and you are not moving fast enough and her little temper is becoming more apparent !  Yep, my child is definitely MY child ! Spoiled already ! She now has a preference and makes it known that she wants me and not whoever is holding her when she gets tired.  She will stop whatever she is doing when she hears my voice.  She also now prefers breastmilk over formula and will sometimes refuse the formula.

The baby and I spent the past few days baking Christmas cookies.  My sisters and their families arrived this evening for the holiday.  The baby chilled in her bouncer while I rolled out cookies and started the next batch. 

We baked Rice Krispie Cheese Wafers ,  Sausage Balls, Snowflake Imprinted Shortbread Cookies , Chocolate Chip English Toffee Cookies ,  Jack Daniel’s Holiday Fudge and my mom’s recipe Holiday Fudge . I ordered a large box of Snowballs from my friend’s bakery in LA. 

My family arrived last night so the annual pjs and dessert party on Christmas Eve will take place !

Since my brother in law has to fly back to CA on Sunday morning, we are having Christmas dinner tomorrow instead of Sunday.

I am livid that two gifts I ordered for my mom and my Godmother are not here ! One order is personalized, wooden tea storage boxes and they should have been here by Christmas and the other order was a new 12 inch IPad Pro for my mom.  I am hoping the IPad gets delivered today, but it’s not likely.  I don’t think Fedex nor UPS are delivering on Christmas Eve. I now have to go out to the mall to get a gift to put under the tree for  my mom.

I am super excited to be spending my first Christmas as a Mommy! Putting up two trees, baking cookies with the baby, and putting on her Christmas outfits have been a blast. My mom ordered her monogrammed pjs for Christmas Eve !  

The “Santa” Decision – The 411


Initially, I decided that I was not going to lie to my daughter and do the whole pretend and mythical world of Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, or the Tooth Fairy.  I just had misgivings about being untruthful with her.

I was reminded by friends of what a wonderful childhood I had because I was taught through these mythical characters to have imagination and hope.  It made being a child magical.  After listening to the pros and cons,  I decided that we will teach her the story of Saint Nick and the history behind this man of color whom Santa is based on.  She will also know the true meaning of Christmas and will know why it is my most valued holiday, aside from Easter.  Christmas is about the spirit of giving, the spirit of loving and all because of the ultimate gift, the birth of Jesus Christ.

We took the baby to the larger mall here with the intent on taking her first pictures with Santa.  To my surprise, when I sat her on his lap, she immediately starts babbling and smiling.  I have no clue what she told him, but if it was her list of gifts she anticipates, it is quite extensive, lol.

What we will do, as a rule, is she can make a list for Santa and Santa will get her three gifts of no more than $50 each.  Santa has a limit !  Other larger items she requests will come from Mommy or other family.  Her list must include something to read, something to wear, something to share and something to play with. One item on her list has to be a toy to share with a child who otherwise would not receive a gift.  Tomorrow, I will go to the book store to grab some children’s classics and will go to Toys R Us or Walmart and buy a gift for a child.  I will call Social Services on Monday and have them select a family.

My mom, sisters and I participate in ” Gay Santa” every year and provide $100 gifts to four homeless LGBTQ teens at New Alternatives NYC, an agency in NYC (where I did a documentary on their participants) that provides support for homeless LGBTQ youth.  I want my daughter to understand that there are people who have been marginalized by society or who live in families who are not as fortunate as she is and that it is our responsibility, as Christians, to always give back.

This year, my daughter does not need anything !  I bought her a top rated Diono convertible car seat and I will get her a few sleep sacks, although we have a bunch in a box in storage that I need to go dig out.  I started purchasing baby items with my first pregnancy that ended in a loss, so I have a bunch of new baby stuff in storage but I can not easily get to it.  My brother in law is going to go with me and move all the heavy boxes out of the way so that I can take those 4-5 large boxes out.  I will donate those items to the pregnant teens in the mentoring program I support.

Fourteen Weeks After Baby Eviction – The 411

Mommy’s angel will be 14 weeks old at 4:18 pm today !

I can’t believe how fast time is going by.

The baby holds her head up and pushes up off the floor.  She has gotten very proficient at scooting across the bed in her sleep so that she ends up right on my side.   

She is now pitching a fit when she is given a bottle and it’s not breastmilk.   I’m still pumping ,  but only enough for her to snack on !  

I am going to join the local Le Leche and also another breast milk group and try to get donated milk for her.   I am unsure if she will balk at another’s breast milk and if it would have a different taste.  She eventually will settle down and drink the formula but she definitely prefers breast milk.  

Baby girl now weighs 14 pounds. She is getting heavy.  She has the cutest little fat rolls and gets mad when I have to clean them all. She decides when she likes her bath or not.  Diva baby for sure ! 

She still doesn’t like getting her hair done, getting lotioned, getting dressed, nor sleeping in her bassinet. All of her #OOTD pics are of her screeching !

This little one has developed a real temper.  To show disdain, she will stretch out and tantrum!  Oh boy !!!

It is truly amazing to watch her personality shine thru and trying to figure out who this little person is.

This weekend, we are going to take passport photos and send in the application for the baby’s passport so that we can take a trip soon.  

I am hoping that funding for my feature comes in after the new year and that we can start shooting by mid Spring.  Fingers crossed ! Prayers Up !

Three Months Post Partum – The 411

Today, my angel celebrates 13 weeks/ three months on Earth !

Can you believe three months have gone by already?  Time slow down !

My baby cooes and seemingly says”hi” sometimes when we say is to her.  She is the sweetest, most delightful baby ever.  I am beyond in love with this child and I swear she is an angel in the flesh.

She wakes up and smiles at me and it melts my heart.  

I know I said I was not here for co-sleeping but I can’t help myself.  I spent $600 on a custom baby bassinet from Bratt Decor and she does use it during the day but at night, I want her next to me so I can watch her sleep and I love when she follows me in the bed.  I guess she loves body heat !

Parenting Fail:

I happened to read the side of her formula can and it dawned on me that I have been making her formula incorrectly the last several weeks.  I used 1 scoop per 1 oz of water instead of 2 oz of water !  oh em gee !

I don’t know how I did that and am just now catching it.  I have been making 3 oz bottles and making it with 3 scoops.  Thank God she only does 2-3 bottles and is given mostly breast milk.   She didn’t really like the formula and now we know why. After I started making it correctly, she drinks it without a fight.

Grandmom News:

My mother is doing well.  Her wound is almost closed now. She is feeling a lot better and is seeing her therapist weekly again for mortality induced PTSD.  She is doing a lot better since we forced her to ask her doctor to put her on sick leave until the end of December.  Her blood pressure has dropped to 120 over 80. It hasn’t been this low in years !

Mommy News:

I am down 65 pounds since giving birth.  I am doing well and mommy exhaustion has set in.  My mother started taking the baby some nights so I can sleep.

Since my MUA passed away a week ago, I have had trouble sleeping.  I miss him immensely.  His husband and family are planning his memorial service after the holidays. I had hoped it would be done now so we can grieve and start to heal.  

We are enjoying life at the beach.  I put up a Christmas tree for the baby in her room and am working on the big 8 ft tree in the living room this weekend.

Twelve Weeks Post Partum – Bittersweet Day – The 411

Friday marked 12 weeks since my little angel graced us with Earthly presence.   

She has grown leaps and bounces since her 4 lb 10 oz arrival weight.   She now weighs a whooping 13 lbs 10 oz !  

She continues to laugh out loud and also talks to you, and smiles when you are in her face.  She really enjoys tummy time and reading time.   We have a huge library of books that I started ordering for her long before she was born. 

She holds her neck pretty steady and will stand up while being supported on my lap.  She has also discovered that she has hands !

Mommy News:

I am doing very well.  Mommy exhaustion is setting in at times, mainly because I do not nap when she naps and I am doing too much.  I promised myself I would slowly down.

I am still thinning out !  I am very grateful for this post partum body !

Grandmom News (My Mommy)

My mom is doing very well.  Her wound is almost closed and she is gaining her strength back.


This morning, I got a call from a friend informing me that they had heard that my make up artist, Bruce Hawkins, had died that morning. I called a mutual friend and she got in touch with someone and shockingly it was true.  Bruce just died in his sleep at 3 and she mentioned.

I am completely devastated.  I had just heard from him the night before and I made a donation to a charity he hosts annually which provides toys for homeless kids.

He was with me the entire ivf journey and was present at most of the filming of my docuseries.  He brought me real food the whole time I was in the hospital. He was crazy about my baby !

This was so unexpected and he just celebrated a birthday on the 14th.  I don’t know how to accept this…