Today, I am eight days past transfer and I do not feel any symptoms other than they usual ones taking Delestrogen and Progesterone cause.  I do not “feel” pregnant and fear that this cycle is a bust.  I know that “technically” I am only six days past blast stage, but I just do not feel like this cycle took.  I remember when I got pregnant after my first cycle, I was having trouble breathing, was extremely sleepy, and I also remember having extremely sore breasts.

I try to look at every little thing as a symptom, but I honestly feel like my period is days away.  That weird body  / pms feeling you get a week before your period starts.. that is how I feel.

As positive as I try to remain, I lose hope every time I read a post about how another who had a transfer around the same time as mine are already testing and getting BFPs and are exhibiting symptoms.  I have none.  I am finding myself getting in a rut and becoming more and more depressed.

Now I will be left with the task of figuring out what, if anything to do next.  I felt that with donor eggs, I had my best chance at getting pregnant.  I was a bit dismayed that there was slight fragmentation with the donors eggs, yet I never had any fragmentation.  I was secretly heartbroken when I only ended up with three embies out of that batch of eggs, which meant I had none left over to try again and all that money out of the window.

With my move to LA, I will have to save up to do another cycle, unless I find donor embryos and pay my clinic for storage and $1500 per transfer.  I would have to talk to my RE about how that would work.  I also was looking into San Diego Fertility as well, as they have donor embryos already and charge $10k for a three cycle guarantee.  After those three cycles, if you are not pregnant, then your can either get three more tries with no guarantee or get your money back.   I would have to wait until the end of the year to set aside enough to cover this plus meds.  The only good thing is, I would not have to pay to travel.

Right now, my mind is just full of thoughts and I simply can not concentrate.   I am exhausted mentally and just want to crawl into a little hole and hibernate…