Gotta Find a New Doula / Lactation Consultant – The 411

So… I have to now find a new doula and lactation consultant this close to my due date !   Why you ask?  The one I had, whom I initially felt was a perfect fit, turned out to not be !  Missed calls, too many excuses for not keeping appointments, never received the new client package, not calling back after a dropped call ten minutes into a scheduled weekly call despite the fact that I sent a text and attempted a FaceTime (unanswered), being a NO SHOW for my baby shower, costing me to lose $125 for a no show, and the last straw, using MY recipe for lactation cookies that I perfected to start a lactation cookie business without asking me if it was okay to use MY recipe !

My mother told me a few months ago when I was not getting regularly scheduled calls and getting excuses like “my child is sick” to find someone else because that is unprofessional and not a good sign.   A doula is supposed to be your first line of support and I feel like I am flying solo most of the time.   Ten minutes into our scheduled call two weeks ago, the call just dropped and it was not my phone.  I tried to call back… no answer.  I sent a text…. no response… I tried to FaceTime… not available.  So I assumed maybe she would call back soon.  To this day, I have yet to get a return call, an email a text… nothing !

She rsvp’d to attend my baby shower in NYC, saying she and her family were leaving for NY to stay there until after Thanksgiving because she had me and two or three other clients due to give birth from August to November. When I was talking to her, she said she had just got back from Fedexing things to NY she would need.  My baby shower was two days later and she did not show up.

I was so upset by all of these “friends” who rsvp’d for my shower and either cancelled or did not show up, all knowing the struggles I have gone through to get here and how important this was to me, that I decided that the very next day, I was going to change my cellphone number and just purge people out of my space who do not deserve to be there.  I have been to every party, event, engagement, etc that they have all had, whether I was sick or well…whether I could really afford it at the time, and sometimes leaving my sick mother’s side to go support them in whatever was going on at the time.  When it was my time to be celebrated, and note I do not ask much of anyone ever, it was not important enough for them to show up?  Okay… kewl…. Moving on !  Cutting OFF !  DONE !

Anyway, that being said, I now have to find someone for lactation support while in NYC for the two weeks I have to be there after giving birth and also someone to provide support at the beach.  My mom did not nurse us and we will be the only ones at the beach… my nursing friends are way too far away and I want dependable, professional support to make sure I do not fail at this, provided my milk comes in like I pray it does !

My mom told me to contact La Leche and just work with them.  I think that may be the best way to go at this point.   I honestly do not feel I need a doula in the delivery room nor at the hospital with me at this time.  My doula promised to go over my birth plan with me, that I sent her months ago, about three weeks about and it never got done.  I wrote it out and wanted feedback.  So now, I will just go over it with my OB and the nurse coordinator at the hospital and my mom has a copy.  She wants to be in the OR with me with me when my baby girl gets here, and she is all I need !

Hospital Tour Arranged – The 411





Today, I spoke with the Nurse Coordinator at Lenox Hill Hospital about my delivery / birth plans and because the tours were full on the days I am in the city, she graciously offered to arrange a private tour for me at my convenience as well as set up a meeting with Media Relations/ Legal to get the proper authorizations in place for the film crew to come in to film my procedure and stay in the hospital.  I spoke with the Executive Suite Director and got the rates for my stay in the Executive Suite.  I learned that the suite is the same one Beyonce gave birth in and several other noted persons. The Executive Suites are $800-2000 per night. A private room is $700 per night so either way, I am going to have to pay out of pocket for my five day stay unless I want a semi private room, which I don’t. Yay ! Another ridiculous expense! I want my mom to be able to stay over night but hell, a room at the Waldorf Astoria only costs me $299 a night !


While it was interesting, I could really care less.  I am concerned with MY comfort, care, and the safety of my child and family while I am there.  I refuse to let them take my baby out of my sight !  lol.   I am paranoid about her being switched at birth LOL…  I am terrible.


Given my anxiety about being comfortable at the hospital and getting five star treatment, I arranged to do the tour early.  I am not going to take any of the class offerings, as I have hired a Doula and she will provide me with class sessions on topics I feel I need.

I am excited to be able to do the tour while I am in New York week after next.  My mom and I are leaving for Las Vegas for a whole week on Monday.  While I am there, I have arranged to tour the city and prominent neighborhoods to look for a property and see if I even like it there.   There are two neighborhoods that I am really interested in seeing.  It should be a fun day touring homes.




Doula – The 411 !

Doula - The 411 !

What is a doula? A doula s a nonmedical person who assists a woman before, during, or after childbirth, as well as her partner and/or family, by providing physical assistance, and emotional support.

Ten Reasons for Hiring a Doula:

Birth Doulas Enhance the Birth Experience:

You may forget what it felt like to take your first “legal” drink, but you’ll never forget the birth of your children. The birth doula’s role in labor and delivery is to anticipate your needs and help carry out your wishes. The birth doula is there to provide continual physical and emotional support.

Assistance with Creating and Maintaining a “Birth Plan”:

A birth plan is a document that spells out in writing your wishes for your labor and delivery. If you’re planning a hospital birth, the birth plan would be shown to your doctor, hopefully before you would go into labor. Most doctors and hospitals adhere to expectant mother’s birth plans, as long as it does not compromise the mother’s or expectant child’s health. A birth doula can help an expectant mother create her birth plan. Once the woman is in labor, the birth doula would be there to support and encourage the woman, according to her wishes. The birth doula, however, is not in the position to make demands on your behalf. The birth doula also can not force you to adhere to your birth plan or withhold pain medication. The birth doula’s role is to encourage you the best they can, to follow your wishes.

Enhance the Birth Experience for Expectant Partners:

A birth doula is not there to take the place of the partner. With the doula’s experience, they are better able to assist the partner and guide them on ways to better assist the laboring mother. The doula and the partner’s roles compliment each other.

Full One on One Care/Support:

Many people believe they will receive all the care and attention they will need from their doctors and nurses. If you’re planning a hospital birth, chances are, you will not be the only patient. Doctors and nurses are there to monitor your health and labor progress along with every other laboring mom. The birth doula is there solely for you. They do not work with other moms while you’re in labor. Doulas also do not work in shifts. You will have the same doula at your side for the entire birth experience.

Decrease in Incidence of Use of Pain Medication:

Many expectant moms choose to forego the use of pain medication during childbirth. The doula’s role is to assist and encourage the birthing mother the best they can to adhere to those wishes. The continual physical and emotional support offered helps laboring moms cope with the pain and discomfort, making labor pain management much more likely without the use of drugs.

Assists with Breast Feeding:

For those who choose to breast feed, research has indicated that women who choose birth doulas have a better success rate with breast feeding then those who do not. The doula is there to offer guidance and support with breast feeding per their training and education.

Increases Better Bonding:

Part of a certified birth doula’s training places emphasis on maternal/paternal/infant bonding. The birth doula recognizes the importance of those first few minutes/hours after birth with bonding. Research indicates families who have used birth doulas have a higher recorded incidence of maternal/paternal bonding then those who have not. This does not mean that you have to use a birth doula in order to bond with your baby; it just shows that the birth doula’s presence is a factor in bonding success for all parties.

Decreased Incidence of Post Partum Depression:

Women who use birth doulas appear to have more confidence and feel empowered by their birth experience. A common complaint from women who have/had suffered from post partum depression is unsatisfactory or complicated births. We already know that birth doulas can play a role in overall childbirth satisfaction.

Birth Doulas Assist with Communication:

While birth doula can not give medical advice, perform diagnostic tests or diagnose problems, they can, however, promote positive communication between you, your partner and the hospital staff. Many women feel overwhelmed or helpless during labor. The birth doula’s role is to help be your advocate.

Birth Doulas are Relatively Low Cost and Recommended:

Clinical researches as well as major health organizations such as The WHO recommend continual labor support. Birth doulas are shown to reduce labor times and improve the overall satisfaction of the birth experience. Many insurance plans also cover birth doula services.

Doulas are certified by Doulas of North America. To find a doula near you and assistance with choosing a doula, visit