So… I have to now find a new doula and lactation consultant this close to my due date ! Why you ask? The one I had, whom I initially felt was a perfect fit, turned out to not be ! Missed calls, too many excuses for not keeping appointments, never received the new client package, not calling back after a dropped call ten minutes into a scheduled weekly call despite the fact that I sent a text and attempted a FaceTime (unanswered), being a NO SHOW for my baby shower, costing me to lose $125 for a no show, and the last straw, using MY recipe for lactation cookies that I perfected to start a lactation cookie business without asking me if it was okay to use MY recipe !
My mother told me a few months ago when I was not getting regularly scheduled calls and getting excuses like “my child is sick” to find someone else because that is unprofessional and not a good sign. A doula is supposed to be your first line of support and I feel like I am flying solo most of the time. Ten minutes into our scheduled call two weeks ago, the call just dropped and it was not my phone. I tried to call back… no answer. I sent a text…. no response… I tried to FaceTime… not available. So I assumed maybe she would call back soon. To this day, I have yet to get a return call, an email a text… nothing !
She rsvp’d to attend my baby shower in NYC, saying she and her family were leaving for NY to stay there until after Thanksgiving because she had me and two or three other clients due to give birth from August to November. When I was talking to her, she said she had just got back from Fedexing things to NY she would need. My baby shower was two days later and she did not show up.
I was so upset by all of these “friends” who rsvp’d for my shower and either cancelled or did not show up, all knowing the struggles I have gone through to get here and how important this was to me, that I decided that the very next day, I was going to change my cellphone number and just purge people out of my space who do not deserve to be there. I have been to every party, event, engagement, etc that they have all had, whether I was sick or well…whether I could really afford it at the time, and sometimes leaving my sick mother’s side to go support them in whatever was going on at the time. When it was my time to be celebrated, and note I do not ask much of anyone ever, it was not important enough for them to show up? Okay… kewl…. Moving on ! Cutting OFF ! DONE !
Anyway, that being said, I now have to find someone for lactation support while in NYC for the two weeks I have to be there after giving birth and also someone to provide support at the beach. My mom did not nurse us and we will be the only ones at the beach… my nursing friends are way too far away and I want dependable, professional support to make sure I do not fail at this, provided my milk comes in like I pray it does !
My mom told me to contact La Leche and just work with them. I think that may be the best way to go at this point. I honestly do not feel I need a doula in the delivery room nor at the hospital with me at this time. My doula promised to go over my birth plan with me, that I sent her months ago, about three weeks about and it never got done. I wrote it out and wanted feedback. So now, I will just go over it with my OB and the nurse coordinator at the hospital and my mom has a copy. She wants to be in the OR with me with me when my baby girl gets here, and she is all I need !
I’m really sorry this happened. I would look over your birth plan if you wanted another perspective. People can be so disappointing and after all you did to get here it’s a huge slap in the face. If she has a website or there is a way to do reviews I would encourage you to record your experience so others may make a more informed choice than you were able to do.
Meanwhile, girl, you’re so on this birth! I’m counting the weeks down right here with you.
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Thanks for the love ! She has been so sporadic, I guess I should not be shocked that she pulled this. Thank goodness I had only paid her 1/2 her fee ! I haven’t heard from her, yet she is busy posting pics of her kids and random videos on FB ! http://www.valeriethedoula.com is her website. I’m going to post on the doula sites where they list them. I will email you the birth plan.
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