Why Why Why???? – The 411


My day starts with a phone call from my fertility clinic to inform me that my donor is having some personal problems and has asked to be withdrawn from the donor database for a while.   I was going to be her last cycle, as she has already done 4 cycles with great outcomes.

At the time the donor coordinator called, I was lying on the beach soaking in some Vitamin D.  The sun was up and shining and I had just come back from having breakfast at a local pancake house.

I was so upset at first and then I just let it go and realized that if this is what it is, God has better plans and an even better donor for me out there somewhere.  My only issue is this better donor better hurry the heck up because I need to really do this cycle in January and do my transfer so that I have time to graduate from the fertility clinic before I settle in LA permanently.  I will not be bouncing back and forth like that after March.

I was going to be very upset until I suddenly remembered the generous offer I received from a dear friend who was going to do donor egg ivf and she and her husband split and are divorcing.  She told me that if I look for a donor at Fertility Bridges then she would transfer her $3500 deposit to me and I could apply it towards my donor fee.  The donors at Fertility Bridges are $3500 – 10,000.  By using Fertility Bridges, my fee would less at my fertility clinic as well, as long as the donor cycles at CNY.  Otherwise, I would have to pay for her to do monitoring elsewhere, which could be quite costly.  If I use a donor that is not local, I would have to also pay for her transportation to Syracuse for her retrieval, but at least the hotel stay would not be that long because I would have her fly out the morning after retrieval.  The only upside to this is also that I get to keep all of her eggs and am not limited to the a 5-7 or 8-14 egg package that is shared with someone else. If she ended with a lot of eggs, then I would be left with making the horrible choice as to what to do with the remaining embryos- which would be to donate them to science, as I could not bear anyone else having my babies out there and trusting that they are not a lunatic.

In other news, things have escalated with my crazy stalker !  I went to DC for my niece’s shower and to my mom’s pre-op appointment while there Cristal called and texted my cell with death threats.  I never changed my number and will not because as long as she continues to spoof numbers and call me, it adds to the charges that will leveled against her when the police and FBI finally do something about this situation.  Because I blocked her from contact on social media, they felt that it was handled.  I spoke with an attorney and was instructed to leave my numbers the same and if she called to answer and let it play out.  Once she physically speaks to me and makes a credible threat against my life, I have just cause to force the police to take action.  I returned from my trip and notice my phone at home has a ton of missed calls.  I go through the log and realize CRAY CRAY has called my phone SIXTY EIGHT times between the house of 2 am and 6am !  Who does that?

She texts my cell phone with the message ” BANG… DEAD BITCH!” –  How I so wish I could see her face to face, kick her ass from one end of the street to the other and keep it moving !  I wanted to take that drive to Georgia but my mom and friends talked me out of it because (1) she is not worth the wasted effort and energy and (2) I would give her ammunition to file assault charges against me and she wins.  My best weapon is to let the authorities handle it- and of course they are SLOW !  This is how people end up getting killed or hurting someone.  The police wait until something horrific has occurred before they take things seriously.  It is sickening that I have been harassed since May and it is still ongoing.

Anyway, I am off to search the donor database for the perfect donor !  Wish me luck !!  Finding the first donor took forever….


8 thoughts on “Why Why Why???? – The 411

  1. Argh! What a Friday the 13th it was! I read the saga of cray cray on your f.b page. I am so sorry and exasperated she still has her sights on you. The cowardice and righteousness is appalling. I hope the authorities pay attention now, you’re right about them always waiting until it is too late. I don’t even know how effective any restraining order would be since she isn’t anywhere near you right now but have the locals said that’s an option?

    I hope you find another donor. Love your second thought and faith in the process. God has a plan my friend!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi there Sis ! Yes, it is cray cray. Getting the restraining order in NY, my home base, is a good thing because it is done through the court. A DA and a judge have to sign it and she will be served. Because she is making death threats and the unusual amount of contact she is making, NY laws, when they do take action, is a swift one. They will issue an arrest warrant for stalking and harassment, which will have jail time and fines attached. I will then turn around and file a civil suit for defamation. It’s a long process, but one I know will be effective. Had I filed from my temporary location, she would be alerted to my whereabouts, which I do not want. If it continues and I have changed my legal state of residence to CA, I will file for a protective order there as well and hand them the one from NY. They have no choice but to honor it and transfer protection.

    I am searching for a donor now. The other option I have is to change the sperm donor to match me…. decisions decisions.. but it will all work out how HE wants it too ! Of course He can see a lot further than we can. 🙂


  3. I know how hard it must have been to find your egg donor. What a set back! But you have right attitude. Something better is coming. God will not let you down. In other news, that woman is bat sh** crazy! I really don’t know how you keep it all together. She sounds like a complete mess. But let’s hope that the fact she has stepped up her crazy, will make the police finally take this seriously. x

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Thanks so much ladies ! I have some work to do on my book…. figuring out what I wanted to write about in this one chapter lol and thenjoy once I am done making the outline, I will go sit on the beach with my laptop and find a new donor by Monday !! #Ihope


  5. Wow well you definitely are dealing with ups and downs of epic proportions. I remember when my exhusband was doing crazy shit on the phone and I tried to get an order against him, showing the messages, and the judge actually said if he hasn’t *physically* tried anything he wouldn’t sign it. Unbelievable.

    Anyhow, sending you lots of support as you go into donor egg IVF – our first cycle didn’t work with our donor embryo so we start our second this coming week with a frozen embryo – fortunately ours made 12 extra so hopefully one will thaw and implant nicely. Crossing fingers and toes for you. It’s one helluva process.

    Liked by 1 person

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