The Pain Infertility Causes When You Should Be Overjoyed – The 411


There are things that happen in life that SHOULD fill your heart with joy.  There are times in life that you should be able to celebrate with others.  Infertility robs you of the ability to do those things.  Infertility robs you of joy, peace, understanding, compassion, and also the ability to give two f*^%S about anything in general at times.

Yesterday, I learned that my 18 year old niece is six months pregnant.  She is having a boy and he is due January 11th.  While any baby is a gift from God and here because He has a purpose for that life, it stings like hell and I am mad as hell about it.

We, grown women, who have the ability to care for and nurture a child and have some knowledge to impart to sow into the life of a child, can not seem to have one.  A child who has not experienced anything in life, has no job, work experience, headed to college, and is graduating high school in May, is pregnant with a baby she can not care for financially, has no patience for children as evidenced by how my niece who is three, grates on her nerves, and is not in a position to be a mother, IS PREGNANT !

We, adults, who are infertile, spend every dime in our savings accounts, suffer and struggle through this journey and it seems as though God has jokes.  Innocent babies are given to teens who are irresponsible, to crackheads, to trifling women who intentionally get pregnant for a 18-21 year payment plan, and life is supposed to be fair?

All I can do at this point is just get up out my feelings and trust in God’s Word.  I will stand in covenant faith that God will do what He said He would do and His Word will not return void.

I refuse to become Bitter !  I resolve to become BETTER !!  Funny how one little ole letter can change a word….

Through Christ, we can do all things and having a baby is one of those things !

After a discussion with my nephew yesterday, I have decided to move up my IVF timeline.  Instead of waiting until April to transfer, I will move it up to January.  I am moving to California and do not want to have to come back to the East Coast if I do not have to and that will allow me to find an awesome OB, RE etc in California in enough time.  My nephew brought up the point that all of his friends who have birthdays around major holidays, like Christmas, resent it.  That coupled with the fact that my niece is due the beginning of January (which means she could deliver earlier) has tarnished the whole Christmas birth for me.  I want my babies to be born during a month where there are no other family member birthdays.  I will shoot for October or November for the due date to avoid this.

I am trying to muster up enough energy to hide my hurt and disappointment so that I can be supportive of my niece at a time that she most needs it.  Her dad is being an ass from what my other sister told my mom.  I truly do not understand how a man who knocked up my sister when she was in college studying Physical Therapy and was deployed by the Army Reserves to Budapest when they started dating.  My sister came back from Budapest and found out shortly thereafter that she was pregnant.  They married when my niece was one years old.  They have been married now for 17 years and have another young teen daughter.  My mother wanted more for my sister other than to fall prey to a long standing family curse of pregnancy prior to marriage.  The only good thing, is that these couples marry and love each other and most have stayed married until death or are still married.  In so many ways, I fault my sister and husband for this happening.  Kids will be kids !  It is a parental responsibility to ensure that daughters are on birth control that PARENTS control (ie:  give the pill every morning before school, IUD or Depo shots etc).  You NEVER allow an irresponsible teenager to take their own birth control.  Additionally, the boy my niece is dating is nice, but he is not good enough to date her.  He has no real ambition, comes from a broken home with no familial support or influence and he just basically exists and does not know what he wants to do.  He should just go in to the military and find himself.  As a parent, I would have forbade that relationship period. My sister and her husband are too lax to me when it comes to their children hanging out with their friends. They are allowed to stay the night over their friend’s homes and also make friends with people they really should not be friends with because they are not on the same paths in life.  We were always taught that birds of a feather flock together and that we should make friends with people who had similar interests and who were going somewhere in life.  Even now, I keep people in my inner circle who are doing as well as I am or better.  They inspire me and I inspire them.  We push each other to do better. None of my niece’s friends have gotten pregnant.  It is sad that I kept thinking in the back of my mind that this is inevitable.  My brother-in-law is very hard on the girls and the girls are very softhearted like my sister.  Often, in an attempt to protect children or rear them in a way that you feel will make them avoid mistakes you have made in your own life, has an adverse effect and pushes the children further away from you, having them seek out the affection they crave from the stoic parent.  Ray Charles can see that !  What is sad, the sibling is a clone of her sister.  Both girls are very bright, but totally into how they look, makeup and selfies.  They also dress like typical teens… like a brat doll. Sadly, I will not be shocked if the other niece walks the same path.  For that, my heart breaks.  All I can do is pray for them and at the same time be glad that my sister and her husband are stable, loving, and have the financial means to be there for my niece.  This is not what I wanted for her.  My niece aspires to be a designer and model.  She is tall, tiny, and perfect for modeling.  I noticed before we moved that she was sleeping an awful lot, sick with the “flu” for an extended period, and also no longer wearing her mid drift bearing cIothes.  It all makes sense….  My niece did not want to tell my mom because she was scared to and also because my mom is still not well from the cancer treatments.

I swear I will not let the words “what next” come out of my mouth again !

Valerie’s Awesome Coffee Can Pumpkin Bread – Recipe


  • 4 large organic eggs
  • 3 cups Extra Fine Granulated Sugar
  • 3 1/2 cups all-purpose organic King Arthur flour (*see note below)
  • 2 teaspoons baking soda
  • 1 teaspoon baking powder
  • 2 teaspoons cinnamon
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons ground cloves
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons ground nutmeg
  • 1 teaspoon kosher salt
  • 1 teaspoons allspice
  • 1 tablespoon orange zest
  • 1 can (15 ounces) solid pack organic pumpkin
  • 1 cup melted unsalted organic sweet cream butter
  • 2/3 cup water
  • 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
  • 1 teaspoon bourbon
  • 1/2 cup chopped nuts
  • 1/2 cup golden raisins
  • You will also need 4 regular sized coffee cans for this recipe.

*Spoon & Sweep method: Use a spoon to fill measuring cup with flour until required amount is obtained. Scooping measuring cup directly into flour bag will firmly pack flour resulting in too much flour required for recipe.


  1. Preheat oven to 350°F.
  2. Spray coffee cans with cooking spray. Use a pastry brush to thoroughly coat grooves in can.
  3. Sift dry ingredients together and set aside.
  4. Mix eggs and sugar. Add pumpkin, melted butter, water, vanilla, bourbon, orange zest, nuts and raisins to egg and sugar. Mix all together thoroughly.
  5. Add dry ingredients to above. Combine well.
  6. Fill 4 coffee cans 1/2 full with batter. Place directly on oven rack. Bake for one hour at 350°F. Remove from oven and cool, in cans, 15 minutes or until bread turns loose from can. Invert on racks and cool completely. Cut into rounds. If available, an electric knife is perfect tool for neat round.

Embryo Glue – Does It Work? – The 411

ivf - embryo glue

Embryo glue – does it work or not?

Does embryo glue really work? We were initially sceptical. A low-cost product that helps your embryo to implant? It sounded too good to be true. For fertility expert Robert Winston, it was. ‘The embryo does not need glue to attach itself to the uterus’, he blogged. For him, the embryo is master of its own destiny. ‘Adding substances is a very simplistic and unlikely solution.’

But embryo glue has grown up. A few years ago, we would have told you to save your money. Today, we’re seeing the roll-out of embryo glue to more and more fertility clinics, updated research and positive feedback from patients. We’ve changed our mind.

If the idea of having an embryo glued into you doesn’t appeal, don’t panic. Despite its name, embryo glue isn’t really a glue at all. It’s a specially developed solution that contains, among other things, high levels of a substance called hyaluronan, also known as hyaluronic acid.

Hyaluronan occurs naturally in your womb, fallopian tubes and ovaries. Studies have shown that it makes secretions from these organs stickier, aiding fertilisation and implantation. Embryo glue mimics those uterine secretions. On your embryo transfer day, your embryos are dipped into the ‘glue’. Then they’re placed in your uterus. The adhesive effect of the medium may help your embryos stick to your endometrium.

Simple idea. Good name. Patients understand the concept. If embryo glue helps your embryo and womb hit it off for longer, rather than drifting apart at the crucial moment, we call that implantation-friendly.

You might have come across hyaluronic acid in the earlier stages of your pregnancy journey. It’s used in some forms of lubricating gel products supposedly to boost your conception chances after sex. The levels in embryo glue are more highly concentrated.

Like every new product or technique sold to the fertility sector, embryo glue has faced opposition. A 2012 study published in the journal Clinical and Experimental Obstetrics and Gynecology cast doubt on its effects. That gave marketers of the product a very bad morning.

But more recent research suggests otherwise – and it certainly swayed us. For example, a review carried out by the Cochrane Menstrual Disorders and Sub-Fertility Group, published in the respected Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews in 2014, showed more promising results.

The review explored the benefits of assisted reproduction techniques involving adherence compounds (including hyaluronic acid) and their effect on embryo implantation. The results of 17 studies were analysed and compared. The authors concluded that the evidence does suggest that clinical pregnancy and live birth rates are improved by the use of hyaluronic acid. Other studies suggest embryo glue may be particularly beneficial for women who’ve had repeated implantation failure or unexplained infertility.

Let’s talk money. The good news is that, like an endometrial scratch, embryo glue is a relatively low-cost fertility add-on. It’s not going to break the bank. Clinic fees are around $0-300.  CNY Fertility Center and Spa offers this with all transfers at no additional cost.

Our thinking is this. At that price-point, clinics may be thinking more about their success rates than their bank balances. Although embryo glue will boost clinic revenues, any uplift in live-birth rates is good for business. They know that fertility patients are increasingly guided by the stats. So if they see value in an affordable product, perhaps we should to. It doesn’t seem like money for nothing.

The success stories about embryo glue are encouraging. It’s still relatively new. Research into its benefits is continuing. But if you’ve had failed IVF attempts, or issues with implantation, we reckon it’s worth serious consideration. Speak to your clinic.