Life Can Suck And Be Great At The Same Time – The 411

life sucks

A lot has transpired since my last post.  I am just getting in from my trip to Washington DC and New York.  I had an amazing weekend at “hubby’s” promotion celebration events.  On Friday, “hubby” had a touching promotion ceremony in the Tuskeegee Room at the Officers Club at Boling Air Force Base. He is now Lt. Colonel !!   His parents and several members of his family, his closest friends, former bosses, co-workers etc were all there to watch as he was sworn in and re-pinned with the new insignia.  After the promotion ceremony, there was a seafood brunch in the Officer’s Club. Later that evening, “hubby” had a meet and greet over drinks and appetizers at his condo in Maryland.  On Saturday night, we all went on a dinner cruise on a reserved deck of the Spirit of Washington.  The event planner hired an amazing dj and all of “hubby’s” close friends, family and friends were there to celebrate him.  The affair was formal/ dressy linen.  I had a dress designed since I do not own a linen dress or outfit for that matter.

Valerie - colin promotion cruise 1 Valerie - colin promotion cruise 2

On Sunday, there was a lovely brunch at “hubby’s” DC house.  Everyone who attended the other events were present and we had a great time eating, laughing, and talking.  The entire weekend was amazing.

OF COURSE, after being lost for 20 days, Aunt Flo decided to bring her behind on Saturday late morning !  I was soooooo pissed !  Of ALL days for this heifer to show up, she waits until Saturday, hours before I had to get ready to go on a cruise…  My life !  Right?

On Monday, I had to go home to NYC to go to the police department to file a harassment complaint against my stalker, Cristal.  I also filed a report with the FBI and with the FBI Cyber Crime Division.  The stalking has elevated to the point that she is posting under a fake alias and stating that she is going to shoot me with her glock and she wants me dead etc.  Twitter shut down her page, however, Facebook does not feel that cyber stalking, slandering, making death threats etc about and to a person using their medium is a violation of their policy !  WTH?  In addition to stalking me and spending pretty much 24 hours a day posting lies about me on a few facebook pages she created, she has taken to adding cast members from my latest film, other friends of mine, my employees, and people who know me to her pages.  Those who are aware did not accept the friend request.  There are a few that I sent an email to and told them what was going on and they blocked her.  She is also posting the guest book sign in of my actor friends who went to the funeral with me on public forums, texting death threats to them and accusing them of conspiring to defraud her.  She has been sending me emails referring to me as Barren and now sending my mother emails thru Facebook using a fake alias and telling my mom that she hopes they have chemo in Federal prison and making up lies about me, my sisters, and family.  She is posting the most vicious of lies about me on Facebook.  The latest being that I supposedly sell my body to the highest bidder and referring to me as a man !   Can you believe this ?  In this process, I have discovered that Cristal has pictures of me that she evidently took off of my social media site quite a while ago, as I blocked her months ago before all of this started because she was calling me, emailing, and texting me when I had asked her to give me some space after my last IVF.  I was not in a good head space with every thing that was going on with me, my mom, godmother, spiritual mom, best friend’s mom and grandmom.   I just needed to be left completely alone and Cristal decided that I was going to be her dumping ground for all of her problems and hurts and that was just not the nature of the relationship I had with her.  When I initially met her, she was just one of my many social media fans.  I would invite my fans to come and join me volunteering at Holy Apostles Soup Kitchen NYC-  the largest soup kitchen in the Nation.  She came to the soup kitchen one day to volunteer and she also showed up at some meet and greets I hosted around the city and other celebrity events I attended and invited my fans to come out to support.  It was then that I learned she attended Howard University, my undergrad home, and gave her my phone number.  I met her darling son and he was an aspiring actor and performer and she wanted me and my friends to mentor him.  Her son met my dog at one of my parties I held at my apartment and he would volunteer to watch him when I traveled.  I allowed him to watch Langston once for me.  It should have struck me as odd that my ex-fiance and none of my friends really cared for her and felt that she was not what she appeared to be and came across as star struck and a user.  I never got that close up on her, as she was just one of 40-50 people who hung out periodically at meet and greets that I hosted.  She was not a close friend and I never confided in her.

Now, I am learning that this woman idolized me and was saving pictures of me and is obsessed with me and my life.  The things she is fabricating and posting on social media are things that are beyond human comprehension.  WHO would make up suck filthy lies about someone and their life and post it as truth? At first, I was bothered by the screenshots my friends are sending me of all these posts, but then I realized that this bitch is crazy and has developed an unnatural attachment to me.  I guess, once I rescinded the GoFundMe because I realized she was scamming me, it put me on her shit list and now she is completely and utterly focused on me.

I am getting calls all day from spoofed numbers and now I am getting calls in the middle of the night.  On my home phone, there are several calls from a “private number.”   There are few people who have my phone number and no one EVER calls my cell phone that I do not know.  That is how I knew it was her placing these calls and when I trace the numbers, they are spoofed numbers and not registered to any person.

In spite of all of this, NYPD can only take a report and can not file charges because the threats that were made did not mention my name directly and the posts are made on a page she created and not on my social media pages directly.  I blocked her, which is the reason why there are no direct posts !   The FBI can charge her for bullying and cyber stalking and hate crimes or terrorism, which is a Federal offense, however, State law has no protection until this heifer tries to physically harm me or if I were to beat her ass, then I would be charged with assault.  I HATE how our legal system works !  It sucks !!

Now for the more positive parts of my post…. My spiritual mom is now out of rehabilitation and is at home !!!  I can not WAIT to go see her !! My mom and I are going to drive down to Atlanta to go see her in the next two weeks. I am so glad that she is coming along after her stroke and is at home after two months and improving daily.  God is GOOD !

Now that my grandmother has taken off to go live with her sister, life is so much more calm and peaceful !  My grandmother has the most down-trodden, put upon, somber spirit of anyone I know.  I would honestly dread having to see her most mornings when I would wake up.  Most mornings, I would wait until after I knew the bus had picked her up for the Senior Center before I would come out of my room, just so I would not have to deal with her.  It would ruin my entire day.  My mother is a lot more at peace, although she is very hurt by my grandmother’s actions, but we remind her that she was trying to force a relationship that she never had with my grandmom.  My mom was extremely close with my grandfather, as we all were.  He was the best man God ever created and we all have his personality and spirit.  My grandmom was there, but we were never that close to her because she incapable of real love. She grew up never experiencing it and she never grew beyond that to learn how to truly show love to anyone else.  She loved my grandfather and expressed that to him but my mom said she never remembered her ever telling them that she loved them or was proud of them. I am so glad that my mom is now free and can enjoy her life without being tied down to a bitter, miserable, ailing person who was making her physically ill too.   My sisters and I swear that the stress my mom was under in dealing with my grandmother is the cause of her cancer recurring….

Anyway,  I am currently 17 pounds down from all the weight I gained the last IVF cycle !!!   I just ordered battle ropes to add to my workout routine and also am starting to run.  I went to the VA Runners store while we were away and purchased sock absorbing insole inserts for my running shoes.  I am determined to be in the best possible shape before the 1st day of Winter and before I start the next IVF cycle !  I decided to wait until March to so the procedures so that I can aim for a December birth.  I will find my donor and have her cycle in March so that I can do my transfer at the end of March/ beginning of April.  We will see how it all pans out….   I am trying to focus all my energy into working out, working on my two books and completing them this Fall and getting my head together.

I am completely heartbroken because of what Cristal is doing.  I am so tired of being the target of evil when I have poured out nothing but goodness and love my entire life !  I have to look at it as God strengthening me for a purpose much larger than I can see.

I decided that I can not give any more energy to this evil, sick . sadistic woman and that I have to focus on my own healing, my own peace of mind, and centering myself and getting my body ready to carry my mini me (s).  I will not allow evil to distract me and keep me from getting to where I want to be.  Time is going by so fast and it will be Winter before I know it !

I have been experiencing extreme stress related insomnia.  I got in about 10 hours of sleep in three weeks.  It was not until I developed a nasty head cold last week that I got any sleep at all, outside of 15-20 min cat naps at night.  After I filed the police report, when I got back to my sister’s house, I slept all night !  I was sooooo glad.  For the past two nights, I have been sleeping all night and I have had the most vivid and beautiful dreams about my babies.  I keep having the same recurring dream about me being mommy to girl/boy twins and they are the most beautiful little creatures ever !  I can see them so clearly and I even know their cry !  I am praying that this is God allowing me to peep into my future !  I can not tell you how much I want them and can not wait until I can feel them growing in my womb and have them cut out ! (remember, no pushing babies out of the hoo-hah for me ! ) lol

I hope that all my fellow bloggers are doing well and I can not wait to catch up reading your blog posts ~


7 thoughts on “Life Can Suck And Be Great At The Same Time – The 411

  1. Golly. I am just so sorry and rather scared for you about what Cristal is and has been doing. She sounds very unstable and could be a real threat to your safety. Are the FBI likely to charge her? I’m really concerned for you, my friend.

    I’m glad you’ve had some great things happening to balance out the bad. I am praying you stay safe and things keep looking up with the things that motivate and matter.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Everyday its some new drama. She has gotten a new ATL area cell phone and is now calling me in the middle of the night and at random times during the day from spoofed numbers as well. She is not only crazy, but very stupid because the police and FBI will just compile this data to prosecute her !

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Wow I thought I was reading a life time movie. Damn, I don’t know what I would do in that situation. Does this chick have a job. How does she have so much time to focus on you!!! There are some crazy folks out there.
    Praying for your spiritual mom


    • Girl, I feel like I am IN a Lifetime movie ! She has escalated even more and is now spoofing numbers and calling my phone all hours of the night making death threats or hanging up. I am filing another police report tomorrow. She has called me every single night starting at about 2 am. No, she does not work anywhere. She obviously doesn’t sleep either since she is posting on social media about me all day and then calling my phone at night ! Thanks for the prayers. Momma Nawanna is at home and is adjusting to being back at home. Hopefully in a few weeks she will able to have visitors and I can go to see her 🙂


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