Today, I am 9DP3DT, and I am having period like cramping.  I feel like my period is about to start at any time.  I am now doubtful that this cycle has worked.  I did test this morning and the HPT was negative.  My beta is scheduled for Monday, which would be the 13th day post three day transfer and 11 days post blastocyst date.  I almost skipped my estrogen and progesterone suppositories today, but felt I better keep inserting them just in case.  I did not do the PIO shot nor the Lovenox.  I am bumping into things and bruising pretty badly with light bumps so I do not want to keep taking the blood thinner daily.  I did do the Neupogen injection and used the last vial I had.  A fellow IVF’r from my clinic overnighted me more Neupogen that she had left over from her previous cycle.

I am trying to keep busy and not focus on another failed IVF attempt.  I have no symptoms, except the swollen boobs which is contributed to the PIO.  My mother is disappointed but told me not to worry about it and to just start saving up for a donor egg cycle.  Why not add another $25,000 out of pocket to the already $70,000 I have spent in the past year out of pocket trying to have a baby?  That would have almost paid for my Range Rover Sport I have been eyeballing !  $70k and nothing but a dead baby and tons of research to show for it !

My mom’s platelet count improved and she was able to to her chemo treatment this week that they were unable to do last week.  Today, I took her to get the Neulasta injection which prevents her white blood cell count from dropping.  She has one more chemo treatment and then she will start radiation !!  A light at the end of the tunnel !!

My mother’s blood sugar is elevated because of the steroids she has to take.  The blood sugar is ranging from 200s to 500s.  They put her on Metformin, but it doesn’t seem to be doing much.  We are going to see her PCP tomorrow so that she can be evaluated for insulin injections.

I am looking forward to burying myself in work this weekend !  Two of my producers are coming down from Manhattan to work on development and scripts for two new webseries I am producing.  I completed the SAG AFTRA New Media contracts for the projects this week and I pretty excited about it !

I spent the day for the past two days baking fresh blueberry muffins, miniature Dominican Rum bundts, and cranberry orange scones and I wrapped each in individual cellophane baggies and got some really cute boxes from Michael’s to put them in for each of my nurses and all three RE’s I deal with at CNY.

Please keep me in your prayers… this is going to be a rough few weeks for me ~ 😦