IVF #4 – Update – The 411

keep calm - just one more day

This afternoon, I spoke with my fertility clinic and learned that the three possible eggs that could have matured were not viable and were discarded.  Three were not viable from the beginning and the other three were determined to not be viable either.  I have ONE embryo growing.  The notes say that it is a strong embryo.  They do not check it again until tomorrow, so I am on pins and needles until tomorrow morning to learn if that one makes it so that it can be transferred on day three.

How the hell does this happen?  20 follicles….  only 7 eggs… only 1 viable / mature egg… with an estradiol level of 1111?

This really sucks !  I wanted TWINS…. not saying that that one can’t split and become twins.. but this really sucks.  I only want to do ONE pregnancy and be done.  I do not want to give birth more than once at my age.  Well, at any age.

IF this embryo sticks, then I will have no choice but to go through donor egg ivf to give this child a sibling.  Trying to do another OE IVF is out of the question for me, unless I go through another clinic with a completely different protocol and meds.  It would be insanity to continue on the same course and end up with the same results.  I am not willing to do any more traveling for IVF.  It is too taxing, too expensive and just team too much.

To say I am disappointed is an understatement, but I am going to remain positive because it could be worse.  I could have no embryos.  Maybe putting back only one will be a good thing.  It is what is is…

God and I need to have some more chats.  What is going on?  Mom- cancer… Godmother- cancer…  Best friend’s mom- cancer… People I know- losing loved ones left and right…  2015 has not been the great year I felt it was going to be, at least not yet.  I pray things get better.  All this suffering and pain is not cool at all.   God there are a few people out there that karma skipped… go find some of them and impart this hell on them !

I was watching the news this morning and this 19 year old is being brought up on charges for repeatedly shaking his 1 month name sake.  Really God?  And the girl last month in Philadelphia who set her 3 week old baby on fire in the street?  Really?  The devil is truly busy and all this evil is totally unnecessary.  All these innocent babies being caught up in adult’s psychosis.  It is not right.  There are so many deserving people out here who would make amazing parents and would nurture and care for these babies and they are given to evil idiots.  WHY?

Anyway, no point in giving too much energy to this foolishness because there is nothing I can do but pray for covering for the innocent.

Praying my one little embaby makes it to tomorrow, continues to flourish, implants, and grows into a healthy, happy, perfect little baby.

4 thoughts on “IVF #4 – Update – The 411

  1. Grow little embryo grow! Have you tried the mini or ‘soft’ ivf protocol? I tried it after having similar results as yours on on lots of meds and recently had much better results with mini ivf. It is essentially fewer drugs with the hopes that a more natural cycle yields 2-4 high quality eggs instead of 7+ of low quality. Happens to cost less and be less taxing on the body too. Good luck!

    Liked by 1 person

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