Next Steps – The 411

baby - egg donor

I finally spoke to my clinic nurse today after leaving a message, and she only confirmed what I already knew.  She called on Wednesday after receiving my blood work, but she did not leave a detailed message, only for me to call her back to discuss.  That is word speak for BIG FAT NEGATIVE… SO SORRY…  I called yesterday and the lines were busy and I called this morning early and left a message after sitting on hold for an infinity.  Early in the day they are busy with new consults, retrievals and transfers.   Greta called me back and said that the beta was negative and for me to stop all meds, which I did Tuesday after the negative HPT.

I was asked what I wanted to do moving forward.  I sent a message through the portal to the Embryologist for an evaluation of my eggs retrieved over the three cycles and to ask for their recommendation . I am awaiting their response and I also left a message for Dr. Kitz to call me back for a phone consult to get some feedback about this failed cycle.

To me, this is an exercise in futility.  Never, will you get any definitive answers that make sense.  You just get the standard KEEP TRYING… THAT IT THE KEY… Yeah, if its FREE then, sure.. we can keep playing stab in the dark to get a baby.

After speaking with my mom, I feel it would be better for me to move on to donor egg IVF.

I contacted IVF-NJ, which has a 92% success rate for the first seven months of 2014 and they have a shared program which will cost me about $21,000 with the donor’s meds, anesthesia, and donor match fee. VCRMed which is near my mom’s home has a success rate of 87% and will cost $18,000 plus some other misc. fees.  CNY has various donor egg programs and the one most of the ladies are using is the 2 embryo guarantee program which costs $4200 plus $1500 for the transfer.  I am just not sure if it is a good idea to use them, being that the donor egg success rate is not that high.  I am tired of throwing away money.  Paying $5700 for one donor egg cycle that will only yield me 2 embryos is a risk.  If it doesn’t take, and I have to repeat the cycle, that is almost $12,000.  I could have done one cycle at another higher rated center … but then again, that could possibly fail as well.

One of my friend suggested me trying a few rounds of IUI, but my contention is, if IVF is not working with my eggs, why bother?  That is a waste of $750 sperm vials !

I am so torn as to what to do.   I also looked at CCRM, which would cost me $38,000.  I am really trying to avoid using a center where I have to travel.   There is another center near my mom Washington Fertility Center which only charges $14,000 for an all inclusive cycle, but the success rate is only 62% for 2012.  I know a lot has changed since 2012, but I am so scared to waste a lot more money since I am already out $50,000+ with the three IVF attempts I have made and only have one dead baby girl to show for it.

Some of the ladies on the Resolve forums suggested that I NOT look for centers too far away from home when doing donor egg cycles, because donor egg cycles are so much higher in success than IVF, especially when using fresh eggs.   I know that I do not want to do a dedicated donor egg cycle for fear of ending up with too many embryos.  I only want two babies.  I do not want to be charged with the task of having to destroy the embryos should two stick or if I have two births and embryos left over.

I welcome your suggestions.  I am just emotionally and financially drained !!

Decisions… decisions…..   At least I have a little time.  I can’t make any moves until after the new year…


4 thoughts on “Next Steps – The 411

  1. I’m really sorry about your bfn and that you are feeling so drained. I hope you can come to a decision that feels good and right for you. ❤


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