I have mixed emotions since.. THIS IS IT ! Today is cycle day 1 for me. That means on day 21, I start taking the Estrace for seven days. After that, I wait for instructions on starting the injections !

After talking to some of the ladies on my forum who are using the same fertility center, I learned about some protocol add ons that may be helpful. I did some research and then sent a message to my doctor.

My doctor agreed to add femara on days 5-9 of stimming), prednisone (a steroid to help with implantation), intralipids (an IV med which helps if you have an autoimmune disorder in which your body has human killer cells which attack the embryo), and after retrieval, I will inject a blood thinner, Lovenox to also help my uterine lining and with implantation.

This entire process has been nerve wracking and exciting. It has been like a second job ! I have spent inordinate amounts of time researching and on blogs and forums learning everything I can to help put a baby or two in my arms.

I sometimes feel like a failure because I did not meet Mr. Right and will not be able to give my child(ren) a father. But I know in my heart and from experience that it is far better to give children ONE stable parent who is happy than to be in a marriage or relationship that is unstable and devoid of happiness. When God is ready, I will meet the person I am supposed to spend my life with, but if it doesn’t happen, I can not live the rest of my days NOT being a mother.

I am very much aware and very nervous about how much this is going to change my life and I can only pray that God gives me kids on the easier end of the spectrum and not brats ! I am devoted to being the best parent I can be and to giving all I have to this.

I am working on a new docu-series about my experience and to showcase all that we single women go through to get to motherhood.