I thought I had found THE perfect donor ! He had everything I wanted in a donor. The problem is, I realized that Xytex allows 40 families. YES, FORTY FAMILIES!! Not pregnancies, but families. That means there could be twins, triplets, siblings, etc.
Fairfax Cryobank allows 20 families.
The Sperm Bank of California only allows 10 families and will pull purchased vials and make you select another donor if reports come in that pregnancies are confirmed, and it does not matter if a live birth occurs. TSBC is very strict.
I feel like an arrow just went through my heart. I have to weigh my future children’s feelings and also protect them. It is a bit ratchet and scandalous to have 40-100 “diblings” running around. I also wanted to do an open id donor so that my children can one day meet the person who gifted them life and if 40-100+ kids show up before them, that is a “baby-mill” situation. No chance of my children getting to really know and possibly bond on some level with their biological father.
I have reservations with TSBC as well because they only have baby photos. I know that my baby (ies) can come out looking just like me or they could look the donor or even his family and not him. My sister has a baby girl and she looks like me and nothing like my sister and she has my other siblings feet !
I am so devastated right now but I will grieve today and them move one and select another donor and a few back ups. It may not be a bad thing to only have baby photos or the donor so there is nothing to use as a constant comparison. I did feel it was kind of neat to be able to purchase lifetime photos of the donor to have for my children to view.